We are all going through the same journey of flat lining and nofap. Some of us will recover faster than others. I'm experiencing a range of emotions, anger, hate, feeling lost, constant worrying, unsure about the future. I think all these feelings are normal. I have been flat lining and I'm shitting my pants. I'm on day 57 and see little or no progress. I know how shit it is. Some times I have mood swings over this. I also read around where guys are still flat lining after a year or 2. It might be quick or it might take you a very long time. The only thing you can do is self acceptance. There is no other choice, you have to accept the journey. It doesn't matter how long it will take. You have to accept it. It could take you over a year or 2 years. If you don't start, you will never make it. Never give up, there is no other option. Accept, you don't have a choice. The journey is shit. Just know, your not the only one on this journey. There been others like you. There is hope. Others like you have made it.
Yeah man ... Still you are doing great. I cant even stay without PMO more than 7 days. It makes me feel like a loser.
When I read your first 2 paragraphs I thought, "Oh no, this guy is losing it. He's going to give up." Then I read the rest of your post and I thought, "Oh fuck yes, this guy gets it! He's going to make it. He's going to be ok!"
If I had to put the journey into a song, it would definitely be Pushit by Tool. (Warning, a couple of swear words);
Just remember, it's not a countdown, it's a way of life. A meth addict doesn't count the days until the rehab is done only to go back to taking more meth, they do it because they want to get rid of the habit and move on to a better, happier life.