As I'm on my nofap journey and learning to deal with my emotions in a healthy way as opposed to masterbating and going to the bar to get wasted I was,wondering what are places to attend that quality women would be around? I think this post could be great for not just myself but for others who are wondering the same question
If you're not into bars, I strongly suggest that you work on your day-game skills. Being able to approach and effectively connect with girls during the day, anytime, anywhere is a seriously valuable skill-set to have.
like finding a gender-neutral hobby and meet women without relationships in mind (cause they figure it out). That might come later...
nah, I mean when you see a woman who you think is hot and having the ability to approach her then and there, create some attraction, and then get her contact info for later.
I understand your point. Practice makes perfect. Mine is slightly different and worked for me, as I was anxious to meet and assumed it showed. Working on my skills with no timely objective in mind worked better for me.
I second the hobby mention. Or Church if your religous. Basically get involved in some type of group or community that your interested in for the sake of the activity or organization, and you'll meet people and make new friends/social connections (women included). And then there is a chance that something develops out of that. A tip; if you do join a group/organization/activity-thing and do find yourself liking a gal, ask her to coffee or bowling or something. Don't expect the activity you met though to work as or count as a "date". And I'd do it sooner rather than later (the asking), so you don't get to attached if she says she is to busy or can't (which is basically a 'nice' way of saying no). That way you can move on. I've been rejected multiple times in the past year and usually find it a lot easier to keep being friends with women or move on if I ask them on a date sooner rather than later once I've begun to harbor stronger feelings. I also had one of my lady friends say she admired that I was so honest and okay with being rejected and moving on without making a big deal of it, like it was courageous in a way to her. So if you get shot down, never take it as a bad thing. It's just life. Sorry for over-answering/rambling
Tough question. Church and/or hobbies are nice. Although when I go to church I go to worship. Going with the intention of picking up a girl might not be the best intentions. Hobby is a little different but similar outcome. I'm usually their to be interested in my hobby not finding a date. If you approach this situation any differently then one may not come across as being genuine. A lot of women in exercise groups. At the same time I'm their to exercise not get a date. Which can distract from the primary goal. I don't drink alcohol. So I don't go to the bars. It's not likely one would find a "good woman" at a bar but it happens. If you do go to a bar to pick up women. Find a place that has dancing. Lay low on the alcohol and high on the conversation with the ladies. Most bars that have dance usually offer classes. Like line dance classes. If that's your thing. Some guys just go into bars and jump up and down. Find what feels good. It's just generally know that bars are pick joints for men and women. More people use internet dating. I've gotten a few dates but the women weren't the greatest. Chatting online and actually getting along in person is a different world. Chemistry plays a role. Plus a large majority of the women don't live in my area. I would have to travel a lot to meet some of these women. I just don't make that much money and if I did I wouldn't have that much time. Sorry I just don't have a magical answer. It takes "work". Understanding yourself and what you like to do helps a lot. I just don't feel like a whole person at this point in my life. Since I have that feeling it's difficult for me to date a women. I need to work on making my life what I want it to be for me. Hopefully I will find a female friend to share that with but at this moment in my life I don't want to share misery. Take it easy.
From what I've known, getting into the biology department in university would be a great idea if you're still young and studying. And statistically 80% who study biology are girls. Whether there are or aren't any quality women, it's a great place to be around many girls with any given aspect. Just don't stress them when they're under exams.
Oh, people are trying to get me to get a dog or cat. Any pet would do. If you got a dog that could lead to more encounters with women (dog walks/parks) and possible conversations. Personally dogs are a lot of work and it's could cost you a couple thousand dollars a year to have one but the pay offs can be nice. One could volunteer at a rescue shelter and/or any volunteer work could be good. Lots of places to volunteer here but I haven't found a good place to actually meet single women. Hurts after a while to have women tell you their married or have a boyfriend. Whether it's true or not. Just hurts. A lot of the time I try to read the facial expression but it's not always clear. I'm still a work in progress. A women would have to approach me if she wanted a date at this time in my life. Not sure if I would be interested in dating her though. Take it easy. Happy hunting
B Yeah, women at bars are usually not the highest quality and they're usually "meaner". It's best to treat bars as a practice ground (we used to call them the "big leagues" because they were so hard). If you practice approaching in bars, daygame should become insanely easy. A wise man (RSD) once said: you should practice approaching women (in general), so when the right one comes along you know what to do instinctively.
Quality is quite subjective. Mostly, things are obvious to start with the looks, and may be a little behavior. By those means, if one likes a particular girl and is also willing invest time and effort, it is simply time to approach her. As simple as that.. So answer would be anywhere and everywhere .. Thence should emerge the question: How do I approach a girl that I really like? There is some reddit for it, a little googling will auto-land you there.
I just want to add to this discussion that in my experience, I can go anyplace and I still am attracted to the most sick people there.. I've gone to mediation yoga retreats, churches, spiritual groups, and the one girl Im attracted to and who is attracted to me is usually a sex addict too or has had huge issues, like been beaten by their parents, molested by their dad, etc.. We all know the women in porn are all fucked up.. And if you are tuned into that vibe, guess what kind of people you are going to meet out in the world.. It's a plus that she is trying to heal and an a spiritual journey to get better.. But like attracts like. So its still about the inner game and improving and healing your inner self and clearing out all that toxic energy from your being first BEFORE you go out into the world and try to find a healthy partner.. Ask your self.. Are you looking for a partner to have a true heart connected relationship with? Or are you looking for just a sex partner to act out all the images you saw in porn?
This. 100%. When I used to visit chat sites, I would always attract the mentally ill or just all around toxic and damaged people (especially women). I've stopped visiting them, but there IS something to attracting what you put out. It sounds harsh, but it is true. You have to look within and see if you're ready before you even think about setting out to find someone else to share your life with. Otherwise, you'll go nowhere and you'll bring someone else down as well. Insightful post.