i have been turning to chatting apps and sexually active chatting places just to get in touch with people(women especially-random women) so as to cure my lust which i now realize is fueled by my porn addiction. I feel a bit lonely without porn. dirty chats and sex chats don't have the exact same effect on brain as porn but it mimics it greatly. i had been talking to a model recently who was married and was having flings online with random people and today she went YOU'RE BORING I'M BLOCKING YOU all of a sudden. no explanation no reason just spontaneous. I realize that I was wrong to put my sexual energies into the act for the period i did, what i want to know is a relatively quicker way to transmute my sexual energy and not spend it on useless encounters like these. I hate myself right now.
Bruh, this is porn! Don't let your addled/addicted brain tell you otherwise. You'll get powerful dopamine releases from this.
You are still wasting your life on porn substitutes. Go live in the real world, turn off your digital fantasy life, and go meet some real women. Sexual energy is great if you have a real person to enjoy it with.
I've seen dozens of guys make this independent discovery. Porn isn't so tightly defined. It's erotic stimulation that is infecting your brain, causing depression, wrecking your emotional state. A lot of guys have trouble coming to grips with their reliance on their addiction, the depths they have gone to, and the extreme actions required to get rid of it. There's a lot of denial. They'll say they aren't that bad, it's not that extreme a case, maybe I can compromise, maybe I can get away with this little thing? Nope. You have to declare total war, and get as far away from addiction as possible. That's why we have to do Hard Mode, no P, M, or O, even if you're in a relationship, even if you're married, for 60 days minimum. I strongly recommend 90, but SOs usually don't tolerate that very well. But you have to learn how to live without sex before you can learn to live with it.
thank you everyone for providing the heads up. I had been dwelling on this thought since quite a while-about deleting the dating apps or not, i had been fooling myself with the excuse that it's not porn when in reality it is, it is just a substitute and the brain is feeling better because it is getting the dopamine kicks it used to get earlier with this same stimuli. I need to do the hard mode, i need to go all out.
It is the path to recovery for sure. If you start asking yourself if this or that is okay, you can be certain it isn't. The addicted mind will rationalise things as not being too bad. Even if they are not as bad as something else, that is exactly where you will end up. I've been there. We all have. Being strict with yourself is the way forward. Good luck man.
She is a model alright, a model of the self centered attitude people have that just use other people for their own gratification.
that's exactly the problem. the industry sees them as assets and not as people.to them the models are just nicely shaped flesh and bone. which obviously wrong and pretty unethical. the problem arises when they try to integrate themselves back into the society(the models) they have been around people normalizing objectification from the very start that they think it's okay if they do it too.
about dating apps as the "something else" you referred to- they are worse to be honest. it's something that affects the brain similar to porn but makes us believe it's a kind of interaction which it's not-it's just one sided bullshit.
Oh yeah, and I've gotten a very similar chat text though not anyone that can be identified as a model, actually I think I was trying to be platonic on a platform that nobody uses for nonsex chatting. I don't think it's just the industry but if we engage with just the culture that the industry fosters it'll pretty much foster that use the other mentality on both sides. I don't even like sharing at a recovery meeting anymore if I get that that's the dynamic, no point in having an audience if they're not interested and/or if they don't get what you're talking about.
I agree. I was making a more general point about how the addicted mind will rationalise "this or that" whatever they may be.