Years ago I had an encounter due to my porn addiction and weird fetish, I had an encounter with some a T escort. I have developed PTSD from that I feel. I am unable to feel confident and image of that encounter stays in my mind. I feel like there is no future. Everyday I keep thinking about this mistake. I can't get myself to work, no motivation. I already had a psychotic breakdown due to bad mental health. I already have very bad mental health issues, unable to work and focus for long time. I barely talk to people whole day I stay alone. I have stopped socialising also. I used to have good physical health, they are gone too. I had made some good improvements in my early 20s but they all gone now. I am stuck in my mind and keep ruminating past mistakes.
It's important to know that you can't change the past, you can only learn from it and become stronger from it. I know it sounds cliche but its true. Don't let a mistake like that ruin your future, because unlike the past you can change and alter what your future can be. If you feel like talking to someone my DM is always open. Stay strong this community can help you on the road to recovery.
Thanks, I am unable to accept it. I keep thinking about relationships and friendships i lost on due to my pmo habit and mental health.
You can't behave like that man. If you do that and you feel bad, in the future you will feel even worse. You've got to let it go... The past is unchangeable. At the time you did what you thought was best and it wasn't. Learn from it and let it go!
I am trying but i am stuck to that event now. I am unable to let go, i think of it every day every hour. I feel like my life is over now. I can't believe I did. Due to low self esteem and bullying, trauma I failed. I never get a gf. I failed.