Day 1 So I fell. And one fall is not enough for me, I had to fall for several days until I felt that I have to stop. I used my failure as an excuse to continue failing. I wasn't even being very conscious about it. But I have reached 13 days, so I must rejoice in that. Now my goal is to reach 15 days. I must post every day about how close I am to 15 days.
Checking in Fellowship Friend's! 0 Days Free of PMO It seems I reached my limit on this round brothers. Apologies for letting you down. I relapsed shortly after my last check in, thrice within 2 days. Twice as full PMO and once with just MO. Chaser effect, although I have managed to regain some footing. After careful assessment, it would seem the intense build of stress this week got to me. That paired with flirting with this girl lead to a progressive and exponential accumulation of urges. I was also just numbing myself out with cheap dopamine that day, various sources which I believe just kept me on a consistent demand. I feel myself tempted again. I suppose the chaser effect is in play, I will have to be extra vigilant for the next week, rather the next month. I will not allow myself to fall for 4-5 months as I did last relapse, nor will I withdraw as I did last time. I have opted to reinforce blockers. I will allocate 1 hour a week to study nofap and the harms of PMO again, seems part of this will have to be a return to basic to reinforce the habits that take me on a longer streak. I’m also not beating myself up for falling, last time was wallowing in self-pity and taking away from my energy by being mad about the relapse. I also do not believe that what I have gained thus far is gone, relapse is part of the journey and I will stand again. There is still much that I need to learn, but I am willing. It’s time to climb the mountain once more. Although I am 24 hours clear, I am setting this day as my day 0. Stay Strong! 0 days You decide to destroy the porn ring! You´re a Hobbit now. You must take the ring to the place where he was made, Mount Doom. You left Hobbiton heading for Bree.
Day 15 I’m very happy to have made it to just over two weeks free from PMO, and to now call myself an Elf! Had a few significant moments today; I aced a task at work that I thought I’d be dreadful at, had many good conversations with friends and new people, and spent an amazing rest of the day with my girlfriend. No urges today, currently feeling very fulfilled and excited for the future of this journey. Thank you everyone for your constant encouragement and support!
27 days @Redemptionisrequired Well, you came very far. You've made a lot of good changes to your brain. And I like that you're getting right back on track. Keep going brother
13 days – The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight!
I wish you all the best. You’re right falling is part of the journey. Not beating [my] self is something I could’ve really used. I think you know what you’re doing. So,.. again,.. good luck.
Brother you didn't engage PMO about 184 days. so that you have gained energy lot from that. My opinion is You didn't lose all the energy that you had. Brother Never give up...Keep Playing The Game. much love
Checking in Fellowship Friend's! 1 Day Free of PMO Temptation is definitely in my mind, it's a bit unnerving. It's incredible to me how less than a handful of relapses and your mind defaults back to craving and wanting, as if opening the flood gates. I aim to continue and advise my mind of the losses that come with engagement of PMO. Stay Strong! 1 day - At Buckland, Bilbo gives you Sting - an Elven short-sword made in Gondolin. It will turn blue when porn forces are around. Quest Item - Sting @kaerhal Congratulations on making to Elf! As for work, goes to show you that you never truly know how you will fare until you try. Glad it worked out. @PeaceOnEarth108 Thank you brother, you are right! I will do my best to keep moving forward. @Vicegerent Thank you ! I still have to learn. Do not be so hard on yourself brother, you are still quite young. I'm slightly a decade older than you. If you weren't kind with yourself last time, you can learn to be so if it were to happen again. Stoning yourself when already down serves no purpose. If you are to put yourself down, how do you expect the rest of the world to treat you better than you yourself. @Baki Hanma Thank you brother, you are right I did not. Now to continue where I left off from my streak. Keep paving the path for us.
Day 16 A good day. Filmed a few videos at work this morning, and then spent the rest of the day helping my colleague with some errands. Urges have been under control once again. That being said, whenever I spend any time around my girlfriend my nuts are in near agony. Hoping this subsides!
1 day - At Buckland, Bilbo gives you Sting - an Elven short-sword made in Gondolin. It will turn blue when porn forces are around. Quest Item - Sting ⚡️ My past days have been,… dizzy and sleepy. Even though I’ve slept as much as I used to, I still feel a headache and irritated. And,… I am under some time pressure here. I am feeling myself I can do this but,… if I don’t study then,… before the slip up I had gained momentum so much that I thought completing all the incomplete chapters was absolutely within my grasp. And now,… I need to get back to that state again. I don’t want to specify; I’ve got around two months left before exam, and I have like 40% of my syllabus incomplete. What makes it worse was that I had over a year to do this. And yet,… I have not, till now. Yea, it was my mistake. I was too confident in my “motivation.” I decided not to take any teacher, online or offline, and just carve my way out of the curriculum through the dry, hard ground, hard to digest textbooks, all by myself, Turns out that doesn’t work as well,… haha.. I had not considered a lot of human factors back then, like demotivation and loneliness. Anyways seriousness aside, I am feeling a sort of natural aversion to P, since I defined what I exactly want and thought over it. I want a long, long, long streak. And so I am building it. @Redemptionisrequired You’re absolutely right. Stoning yourself when already down doesn’t help. And personal experience with some guided interpretation is among the best teachers. I have learned. Reminds me of Alfred saying to Bruce, “Why do we fall?” “So that we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
