Day 40 of Spartan Challenge, tomorrow will be day 60 of current streak. Apart from the first couple of weeks urges to return to P have been under control. Weirdly I keep having dreams at night while sleeping about engaging in PMO and being unhappy about then breaking my streak. Fortunately just a dream but my reaction in the dreams to breaking my streak is motivating me to keep going. Good luck to us all!
Day 13 Yesterday I worked out and pushed my boundaries. It felt great. In afternoon I had after effect on being knocked out. In my energy low I got affected of the beauty of a female body and was tempted. I however managed to steer myself into subject of interest which is for me health fitness and longevity as I can feel there is a lot possible. I studied and watched supporting clips of scientists about bdnf and the brain. I got very excited. Completely out of the low and understood the relation of interest and life quality causing a shift in the addiction pattern. I have a few mechanisms now. Now I need to train to apply these consistently and repeatedly.
I feel that I can shift the desire energy which I was so hooked to and translate it into other forms of activities and feel the same satisfaction I feel when I devote myself to edging. Because that’s what it always was. The pleasurable lush state I was in. The fullness and richness and satisfaction there undoubtedly was. i know since a while I have to establish a lot of other beautiful things in my life to form a foundation of equivalents and satisfying things. Because just saying no doesn’t work for me. I am too much of a life enjoying sensual person. I was right with my approach and the compulsion went away. The urge of having to act. Didn’t feel anymore. However I still did it. The reason is because it’s a easy way to shift into something very pleasurable with little efforts. I do not want to give up the feeling of lushness richness as this is what I carry and what I desire to live. I can however translate or shift the arena. I started to decorate and cook and design family life and fun. This instead of saying no I embrace to live it on a different platform. While I always understood tantra and transformation I never knew how to do it and it was ne er the same. I can feel now that I can. And that I do not loose pleasure and satisfaction but definitely gain trendies life quality and especially can avoid the aftermath of addiction edging sessions. I replace these by a beautiful life. This is way better.
I understood a fundamental point that I believe is key to exit and completely resolve the entire issue of addiction.
Day 5 completed. Hey, it'll be okay. Maybe just wait for the storm to pass. You are strong and you will get through this! We r with you : )
I am fasting 36 hours and after not having fallen into the desire yesterday can creatively accomplish a lot. Running on high energy. Really great. The fasting had this effect on me already last time that I have a surge of creative energy and mental clarity.
Day 35 + Day 36. All is good, apart from too much heat making me sweat all the time! @voltex Nice intel. If the recurring flatlines last only some hours, it's definitely manageable. Thanks for sharing. @Kratos_GOW Stay strong my dude. My advice is to grab a couple of friends and just go out and have fun! Or just do some things that you have never done in your town and experience something new. It will help your brain.
Day 14 Doing well. 36 hours now. I will do this every week now - at least I will try. Feels very good
Day 0 starting again 1st time relapse at 74 day 2nd time 59 days Right now 71 day Starting again but this time it will be worth it