Day 2 complete -- joining the ranks of the lowly, enslaved Orcs. Obviously there is some reason I cannot make it very far on my streaks. I think I have not properly identified why I relapse. If I abhor this behavior as much as I claim, what factor drives me to perform it anyway? Is it loneliness, boredom, sadness, indifference? I don't know, but cultivating a greater awareness of when I am experiencing these or similar emotions should help me avoid relapsing. PMO is meant to fill a void of some kind within ourselves. Old habits must be replaced with new ones; we can't rip out our mental circuitry, we can only rewire it. St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us!
Day 3 A strange feeling plagues me, but I'm not completely connected to it. I think it has something to do with procrastination, perfectionism, not feeling like I'm aloud to move forward... Something like that. It's certainly designed to keep me stuck. I had some urges and temptations to PMO today, but I resisted. I get tired of typing "Day 0" and would like to not go that route... I don't feel great right now, truth be told. I think something got spiked in me. I keep reviewing this webinar containing content that I know I need to master, but I think I'm sabotaging myself a bit trying to prevent myself from putting it into action.
7 days girls checked out: 1 coffees: 2 cold shower: no video games: ~2h Well done @soggs1 and @Dropsique , we need more dwarfs!
Day 38...today my naughty mind was trying to peep into my "used to be" past activities...i am very shameful for my past activities, which i was again going to do that is watching other peoples Changing their clothes or even bathing...but my mind again resurrected that i am still fighting to get over my worst habits, i turned my eyes away from that place....i was again filled with shame and shyness, but i know i am still strong enough to leave any thing in this material world...and i am never going to slip in the hands of those things ever again...
sadly day 0 again but it was a very short relapse at least- only a couple of minutes ... Im still sick af but no corona so far ... greets
Checking in--almost to Amon Hen... “It is a strange fate that we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing.” — Boromir
It's your internal safety says that you need to work on your internal qualities,ethics,moral for without it you gonna become like super sports car with loose/broken brakes.