Day 38 Chugging along and trying to be watchful. I meditated again yesterday for the first time in days and it really helped.
This is the way, equip yourself with all the tools and show your temptation demon no mercy..for he will show you none in turn.
Checking in Fellowship friends! Day 347 free of Porn and day 275 free of MO. I am doing well, not much of an eventful day. I had a good workout and took it easy as i'm on vacation. I came across a post on the semen retention section, where an individual seemed to stress about nocturnal emissions. I would like to share my advice to him here as well. This is for anyone looking to go down the path of semen retention, alongside abstinence of PMO. If you don't believe in semen retention no need to continue, I respect your opinion and I am not looking to force my thoughts or beliefs onto anyone. I would not pressure yourself too much about nocturnal emissions. To me it seems people who are advocating semen retention are forgetting one important step. Most of us who were/are addicts, would utilize PMO as a stress relief or perceived negative emotional "management." Which means once you remove that your body is in "freak out" state of sorts. So in that state your body will eventually force out a nocturnal emission to ease your stress from life and/or withdrawal because that is what it is accustomed to. I believe time is an important factor, while you introduce new habits to manage your stress and any other emotions you would use PMO to cover up, along side a true form of abstinence from PMO. Don't fall prey to the elitist mentality, with regards to this need for immediate retention and do not pressure yourself. As long as you see the distance between each emission growing over time, then you are going along the right path. Arm yourselves and retain your seed as you can. Stay strong my friends!
Sex can't change you When I'm on the right energetic and mental state sex doesn't create too much happiness or mental balance. Because I'm already balanced and with high levels of energy. On the contrary if I'm being lazy, not focused in life, when I have sex it's like an unbelievable source of mental balance and excess of energy. Here I'm talking about non ejaculatory sex, which is the type of sex I practice. Try to live in such a way that having or not having sex has the same effect on you. How to do it: live in a mental and physical state of relaxation and awareness this way you live in your natural state which is wisdom and joy.
Day 13, and I 'reset' again. However, I make some progress after all, comparing with last 10-day journey. I think next time I will challenge 21 days without PMO. There's some problem I need some help, after I break the 10-day record, many images, u know what I mean, flood into my mind, I cant even stop them. I wonder how you deal with those thoughts, I reckon they raise too much desire to relapse. Peace, Im trying my best to catch up with you!
Day 6! Almost at day 7... I had kind of a wet dream last night. I say "kind of" because I didn't actually dreamed, nor had an O (that I would remember, at leats), but I woke up in that certain way that leaves no doubts. By the way, I think I'm having the chaser effects of it, cuz urges are strong as hell, and I flirted with it a little bit. I played with myself with some dirty intentions, but it wasn't edging for O, so I won't reset the counter. If I end up doing it again, I will. Gonna watch some series and try to cool down my mind. I'm definitly on the dark days around the second week, it just came earlier this time. Hope it passes soon. Good luck to us all!
Day 6 complete! This streak has taught me that we can't make the slightest concession to any type of triggering behavior. No fishing, peeking, fantasizing, edging, nothing. By grace and grit I've managed to keep this streak super clean and it definitely shows. Yeah, it's only six days, and urges are creeping up, but I feel empowered in a way that I haven't for quite some time. Stay strong, brothers and sisters. One of the (many) reasons for which St. John Paul II is famous is his Theology of the Body, which describes in-depth the nature of human sexuality and how we are to make proper use of this gift. Porn and masturbation aren't just wrong, they're evil. They undermine our potential and degrade us into being hollow, empty versions of our true selves. Pope St. John Paul II, pray for us!
Yes... Complete addiction excuse. Anyway I will now return to the drawing board. I will remember to ask myself that next time.
Day 10 No P Day 114 No MO Life without porn is possible...and it's great! Don't let your past define your future — break free today! Some people say ALL men use porn. That's not true. Check out profeminist Michael Lovan on why he doesn't watch porn https://t.co/T1yChQQOmqL
It’s bobido200. This is my new account I fell all the way down. I couldn’t really get back up after my relapse and I fall into a binge that I hope I’ve ended now. It turns out that the Email I’ve used for the old profile is the same one I’ve used for random porn sites across the web and when I’ve entered, it gave me my old “favorites” and the rest of the memories that I truly want to forget. So, I’ve deleted my old google account completely and this is my new account without any trace of the old life. After my interview I’ve been so stressed that I’ve PMO once, and then another time. And now I don’t even know how long I was out… Today I’ve got the Email saying that I’ve got the job. And I’m too exhausted from brain fog after the binge to even be truly happy. I am happy, but I’m also just so sad that the stress broke me and I had nothing to worry about in the end. I don’t now how to restart my journey. I think I’ve done every mistake in the book in the past couple of days. Right now I’ve simply turned off the color on my phone and made it all grey as a constant remainder. And I’m just going to be outside of the house as much as possible for the next couple of days. And if I can, I would also be offline as much as I can for the next couple of days to restart my brain. Let the long journey to recovery start again.
Day 3 - Orc I almost started M’ing last night when I laid down for bed. There was some light touching, but I’m not gonna count as a reset because I didn’t let it go any further. Day 6 of no PO, which is great. There were a lot more sexual thoughts running around in my head yesterday. Flashbacks to old P I’ve looked at. For me, PMO helps me relax and fall asleep at night, so going to bed is my biggest danger time. I got my vibrating alarm watch delivered yesterday! No more phone in bed, no more excuses! I’ve been doing journaling and yoga for the past 5 months as part of my mental health recovery, and I think that is helping me process my stress in a healthier way so I’m not so high-strung going to bed. Began reading Way of Kings, it is fun but very dense lol, two prologues and the first chapter is written from a minor characters perspective, all before we get to hear from our real protagonists. I’m looking forward to reading more today. Hope y’all are doing well, God bless.
Sex and rain It was a fun day I had sex with my girlfriend and I did some running and riding with my motorcycle under the rain.