You are my role model man, I wanna become like you or even better than you. Lets hope for the best and good luck with your life goals. And All the best to everyone on this this challenge.
Day 1 Accepting only one more member for our WAR MODE NOFAP GAME. Check my signature if you are interested to join
Starting day 2: Sun rays shine upon my face from the cracks of my cavern, for a moment the glow of the ring seems to be not as enticing as before, and all of a sudden I remember my true name, not the one that "my precious" moks me with. Starting day two, very fresh and strong, this time I will go further in the journey, I must! I found your challenge to be very interesting from day one I joined the community, however the fact of loosing by not reporting one day is a problem from me, there are times I stay away from internet for a whole day.
Day 23! Felt depressed yesterday, I think I might have reached the flatline. It was kinda overwhelming and nothing could distract me. I've also been feeling these kinda of blue balls, it isn't the most intense pain, but it is starting to feel tight down there. Hope it gets better soon. God bless us all!
Had another wet dream today and the weird thin was that I didn't see any women or genitals but in a dream I felt some sort of fear to have a wet dream again and probably this made it happen around 12.30am(just 2'5 hours after I went to bed). This made me feel somewhat desperate for a while as well as brought in difficulty in controlling trash talk inside my mind. ..but meditation, cold shower and workout are done again. It looks like I'm gaining good habits!
50 days Moria, the greatest Dwarven Kingdom, is before you. With a beard and a axe, you´re a Dwarf now. Finallyyyyyyy ! I feel so good, thank you all for being here and sharing your experience with everyone, each one of you motivate me to push forward !
0 days. My life has been stressful lately, I relapsed and didn't want to go here on the forums for a few days. I now want to drag myself back into the reboot, I owe it to myself and to the community to stand up and fight. I apologise for not checking in immediately after my relapse. My plan now is to think a few days on how to improve my reboot strategy.
I'm laying in bed, tired and drunk and I'm looking for the porn to watch, with an erection of course and my heart is racing. But for the first time I don't want to go any further, I don't feel well, I don't want to. Now the erection has gone and the heart racing too. I just don't feel well. The truth is, I don't want to watch porn I just want to feel good. I have hundred ideas in my head, but they'll have to wait. I think I'll be kind to myself and do the following: - I need a bed sheet first - shutdown computer, use toilelt, set alarm clock and switch off light - allow / create a good, cozy feeling and wonderful thoughts - forgiving myself, forgetting myself and wander off into dreamland Good dreams to all of you!
Day 3 I had a few urges but I was able to basically ignore them and just acknowledge the urge and anxiety without judging it which was really really empowering. To me, this is very obviously the consistent meditation I've been doing everyday finally baring fruit. In fact, there were multiple things that happened today which normally would be huge triggers for me and give me a massive urge, but today they didn't do anything except for a little scare (because I naturally assumed it was going to get a massive urge because of it), I just casually ignored them. I'm realising that I'm making urges naturally stronger because I'm scared of them. I'm afraid of urges because they're obviously the things that cause me to relapse, but ironically, if I can manage to pay less attention to them and simply acknowledge the urge but not interact with it, it becomes far less powerful and disappears much quicker. Like today, I was getting urges but I just simply wasn't caring, I was simply noticing that I had an urge and continued with whatever I was doing at the time because I wasn't getting caught up in it, it never got powerful enough to reach the forefront of my mind. However, realistically, it won't be like this every single time I have an urge, I still need to be prepared for urges that do overwhelm me and arrive at the forefront of my mind. But, this was still a really nice feeling, being able to just keep doing what I was doing without the urges hindering me and without stressing out about the urge itself, thus giving the urge much more power. Here's a video of two cats having an intellectual discussion
Day 8 Back to Uruk-Hai. Feeling fast and muscular! Ready to march! I've done some prayer and weight lifting today and I will meditate in about half an hour. I'm really excited for autumn to arrive, this heat's been killing me.
Checking in Fellowship friends! Day 317 free of porn, day 245 free of MO. It’s been an interesting week. Lots of doubt creeping up here and there, anxiety at times and uncertainty. I’ll say this much, I’m becoming much better at managing it, not letting become debilitating or turn into avoidance. There has been a few urges this week, which is a clear setting for avoidance. Addiction really is that, avoidance of feeling. At first the bad...but the addiction gets so strong that you end up numbing out the good as well. It might be scary at first..or even for a long time, when you quit and experience these negative emotions. But that’s okay, it means you’re alive and living. You’re no longer cowering. The good emotions will come pouring in over time, and you’ll work at challenging the negative. Sometimes they’re not even as bad as we originally thought. It’s just we’re so out of touch with ourselves, so out of touch with living and how to cope with emotions and obstacles, that when we finally decide to face them...it’s foreign territory. Stay strong my friends