Well, today was the day. At 417 days and 9 hours (I use an app to track) I made the decision to ejaculate. It did not take long AT ALL! I thought after so long it might take some time. Nope. Wam bam thank you hand. I did it alone, no videos or pictures. No fantasies or even any thoughts. Just feel the feel. It didn't feel very amazing. A little good, sure, but not crazy amazing. I don't know why it was ever a habit. It was nothing. Abstaining feels much better. Am I sad I did? No. It was a choice. I'm not impressed. So as of right now.... Day 0!
417 days is a great accomplishment, really inspiring! May I ask what your motivation was to keep going for so long?
Bruh There is never a good reason to relapse, not even as an experiment. Your mind tricked you. It will be nice to see you go back up, there's a tendency to keep relapsing after you do it. I hope you don't follow that path.
Great question! Why did I keep at it? Why wait until now to break the steak? While retaining is no panacea, I do feel it is quite powerful. So many people have responded to the massive changes it brought to my life. My presence has been magnified many times over. That's not why I continued, however. I guess I became addicted to feeling myself. That was one huge benefit. It's hard to explain but I feel my own energy much more acutely. Much like I did when I was very young. It's a feeling of power and certainty in who I am. Not where I'm going or what I believe in. Just as a constant state of I Am. It brought strength back into my life. However, recently something has been off. I've been weakening again. Not eating right. Not exercising consistently. Not meditating every day. I've been slipping. So after a month of asking my heart I felt the need for a reboot. The renewal of a cycle I suppose. I don't know. It wasn't an intellectual thought. It's not an experiment. It's not even a desire for that genital sneeze. I just felt it was required. Today I feel renewed. I feel really, really good. Maybe that was the point. Maybe I needed a reminder in what is real and what is not? Maybe a reminder on what is important? I don't know. I'm continuing on my retention journey because it's the best thing for me right now. I will follow my heart and when it says stop, I will stop. For now, it just feels right. Does any of that make sense? I hope so. Thanks for asking!