Hello friend. It seems something is troubling you. You have a good life and friends. Perhaps you are feeling a void in helpfulness. Sometimes, the best way to solve your own problems is to help someone else.
whats helped for me sometimes when i felt like this is to talk to someone really close to you like mom, dad, girlfriend etc. personally i talk to mom and then i let my crying out then i just take a day off relaxing.
Unfortunately I'm not that close to anyone and I can't talk freely with the people around me tbh but I'll definitely try to find someone who understands so I can talk to them.