day 30. Big trouble ahead, intensely aroused again, I lost my desire to study, work, pursue my fabricated goal, all I want right now is to participate in fun and thrill. I want to go out, socialize, laugh and participate in the fun. Relapse is around the corner I just know it. Libido is over the roof. I don't know what's going to happen this week. Going to be tough.already know it
Day 4 Going ok for now. Trying to keep doing good stuff like meditating and sleeping at least 7 hours at night. Life is still stressful, but I think that I’m going in the right direction. I’m planning on talking to some friends today because I’m feeling a little down and alone lately and that is never a good thing. Reading the stuff you gays are going through just gives me so much hope, not just succeeding, but falling and getting back up. Somehow I feel like that this streak would not end my addiction and that I would have more relapses in the future, and yet, knowing that it is okay and that the only way to fail is just to give up. So I’m here and not giving up. Thank you all for existing.
Day 13! Another learning opportunity came in my way these last few days, which hopefully will serve me well for the rest of my life.
Had some hard time falling asleep for the second time after 2.30am, probably bright light messes something in the brain.But well 7 hours in bed out of which probably 5.5 were of good sleep, the rest was more of a troubled meditation kind of thing.
Day 125 no PMO. Went to the river with my family yesterday. The river is an awesome place. You can be right near the city and at moments it feels like you are the only person on the planet. Found myself reading some recovery posts that actually started to feel like I was fishing so I got out of there and will no go back to that material again. Be careful guys. I recall years ago watching YouTube videos about porn recovery and then the next suggestion YouTube gave me was about porn (not recovery) and it caused a relapse. The world is always going to be throwing temptation in front of you but you have to be able to recognize it and get out of there.
156 Days in ! You and I will be, and have been, hit with a huge amount of possibilities and accidental chances to stumble on porn and then give in and MO! Even escalating to it from a bikini picture in social media or a sudden urge for sex at 02:00 AM while at sleep. The thing is you can't escape from temptations of PMO they are thrown at you everyday. The thing is to look over them and not let them stay in you head and do something else right away. And i've saved my self from multiple relapses on this streak by not touching my penis at all, just to take a piss. When I was hit with a urge and not starting to edge and touch myself - the urges for PMO lose their power over time, and you will get stronger and disciplined every time you keep your hands away from your junk and make a choice from your core that "PMO-ing?..I am not that kind of a man who does it" - but you have to figure out what kind of a man are you then. Don't touch your junk.. Make a decision based from identical point of view.. Keep eating that bowl of truth soup of what porn really does to you.. Work-out.. Socialise.. And keep up the work of habit replacement..
Spoiler: Highly unlikely that some words will trigger you, but a warning just in case Temptations are around the corner, but we should also live are lives. I was at a shop yesterday, where I found a book about music. There was a section in this book about sex where I saw a naked woman. I felt defeated at first, but I quickly thought: it's just a naked body, there is nothing wrong with seeing a naked body. It's important what you do after you stumble upon something like that. Do you let that image control you for the rest of your day, do you go home and relapse because of it or do you simply try to forget about it? I chose the last option. How do you feel when you accidentally come across an image like that? Would you consider it a reset? Personally, I feel that we shouldn't beat ourselves up that much. The image didn't make me act out when I got home and I tried my best to not fish for more of those images in that book. This image certainly wasn't anywhere close to P. I was wondering how you react when you come across something like that in a public place? Do you feel like you lost the battle or simply move on? If I purposely search for a naked woman on the internet, I would call that a reset, but not the example above.
Woke up early to buy a membership at the gym. I will start tomorrow! I am definitely going to be nervous at first, but I am going to the gym with people that I feel very happy and safe around so everything will be fine. Haven't exercised in a long time, so I probably will feel very sore the next day, but I am going to take it easy and have fun. This is something that I've been wanting to do for a long time and I feel it's an important part of living PMO free. Taking care of your body and living healthy. Let's give it our best! Have a great day! Much love.
Brother I just had a thought -if you can afford it, hire a PT for 1-2 sessions to take your measurements, check on your technique as well as to create you a personalized program to ease your entry and reduce muscle soreness.
Great tips, really appreciate it! But I am going to train with someone that has been training there and other places for a long time already and he knows a lot about the techniques, so I am not starting on my own and just really taking it slow for now. I also want to get comfortable there first, but I am definitely going to talk to a trainer at that gym and take lessons from them. Thank you!