So I started with NoFap in 2016 and had a 13 month run of no PMO. Best that I've ever felt in my life. Clear, confident and persevering. After 402 days I had a little too much wine at a dinner and relapsed. Since then I have had some success of 1 or 2 months, but nothing sustainable. For the first time I have a weekly support group that is carrying me through. They know me and my struggle, and I keep accountability with them. I check in with one of the group daily. So I hit 40 days today. I'm knocking out alcohol for now. It's not worth the risk. Alcohol leads me to feel entitled to a PMO reward. I struggle most with rewarding myself. Also doing cold showers. 40 days straight. In winter!
You telling things can go south after such a long streak seems to be a reminder that one always has to stay vigilant and aware. Congratulations and thanks for posting.
Well done. It’s interesting how we can ‘feel the best we have ever felt’ after a sustained streak, only to shoot ourselves in the foot. I would count that as a very successful run. Alcohol does not help me either the next day. It’s tough to quit two habits at once!
I shot myself in the foot alright. My vulnerable times are when I have accomplished something great and combined that with 3-4 drinks. I basically "reward" myself with a relapse.
It was an impulsive decision. Once my mind clicked over I didn't want help. I learned that as soon as I get a sense of vulnerability that I need to reach out.
this is bullshit every one talking about how good it feels in day 30 and feel like garbage from day 1
I didn't reach out because I thought I could handle it. I thought that the principles that I knew would carry me through. But as I said in my first post, I was missing community. Immediate community around me. With NoFap, it was easy for me to simply drift away and not check in. But I now meet with 2 other guys on a weekly basis. I'm checking in with one of them daily. I'm being honest with myself about what leads me to relapse.
Day 51 Overall doing well. As my brain heals I have noticed that I am far more aware of women who go out into the world with less modesty in clothing. When steeped in PMO, these triggers would not get me, but I find that I am more triggered now. What to do? I have been practicing a "custody of the eyes", essentially leading my eyes away from the trigger. A part of me wants to say, "coming, it's not big deal..." but I know that it is a big deal. It can lead me towards relapse. I
Congrats! Yes alcohol is a killer in streaks. My family will get together and I'll have a drink of two or three. Miraculously my mind starts to think that I just need to relax and take a "load off" Friday nights when I drink. I know it's not the best solution for a relaxing weekend. But alcohol makes your mind into a anti depressant. When it goes there you will find anything to take the ease off yourself. You can feel relaxed and down to earth, but your also getting another dopamine hit which can trigger another hit for your mind. I find myself with any drink causing the effect doesn't matter if its Wine or a mixed drink.
Not bad. I'm exercising daily, taking a cold shower daily and eating very clean- little sugar and no alcohol. All of this helps with recovery.
The self is a steady evolving entity deeply attached to an identity it finds most benefiting. At least this is the way I feel about being on this journey and carry myself through hell in the first place. The longer we assign ourselves with a certain identity the more we are prone to believe in it. Our brain changes along with our own incapacitating problems, if we are not willing enough to solve them by ourself. The magic guide who solves all of your problems is inevitable you. Nevertheless it's important to remember that friends will help you in all your life.