Hi all, I'm on day 160ish of my reboot and need help on a topic. I'm in college, and naturally there are a ton of beautiful women around. When I look at them I feel aroused, and blood may even start flowing to a certain member of my body. With this said, is this a good sign of recovery? Being sexually attracted to real women? Or am I playing with fire? Should I not even be looking in the first place? Really appreciate everyone on here. Love you peeps
I can't say that I've ever reached your level, but I imagine that, by now, you being a heterosexual man, real women will start to appear more and more attractive. That is something I experienced when I went my record 96 days without PMO. It's completely normal for a heterosexual man to feel attracted to women, you're doing nothing wrong! That being said, it might become a problem if you start undressing them with your eyes. I personally try to use the 3-second rule when an attractive female walks by. First second you notice, 2nd second you appreciate, 3rd second you move on. By second 4-5, you should be back to focusing on what you were doing in the first place.
Do you need us to tell what foods are healthy and what foods are not? Do you need us to tell you not to cross the street when there is incoming traffic or will you rely on your common sense with confidence? Post like this, effects after only 30 days, and other stuff are reasons why I try to stay clear of these forums. I know most of you are all here to help one another but many have turned this sanctum into a cliche realm of babble.
I like the Bruce Lee quote. Remember what your there for. Of course its difficult and you have achieved more than me. If I was in your shoes and wanted a relationship then I would make a move but that is not pmo.
My opinion is there is nothing wrong with seeing real people as attractive, that's natural. The whole point of the NoFap challenge is to eliminate solo sex. The question you need to ask yourself is what is your main goal as far as sexuality. Are you going to stay orgasm free forever and never have a partner? Some religious people do this, I'm guessing this probably not your goal. Are you going to get into a relationship and start having natural sex? Some people who are religious think that you should be married and depending on if you are religious this is up to you. My point is that you should probably find a girlfriend and just abstain from P and M. It is up to you and your religious or lack thereof beliefs on whether you should have premarital sex. I personally have a partner and only abstain from P and M. I'm not trying to be asexual.
Yeah it's pretty obvious if you find college girls attractive and you are in college, you should be talking to them and not just staring from a safe distance. Not that I ever did that haha. But do as I say and not as I do.
I would also like specifics on what you are looking at when you are finding these women attractive. Are you ogling them? Objectifying them? Treating them like they are just there for you to stare at? If not, and you are simply looking at these women because they are pretty or they beautiful eyes or nice hair, then I would say it is healthy. If it's the other way around, I have a very nice rule you can practiced that helped me stop objectifying women and see them as people. Let me know buddy.
First, congratulations on your long-term success! Of course it's normal to feel a hint of arousal when you see beautiful women. Every innocent lad who hits puberty begins doing that. If you have been so deep into PMO addiction that you couldn't get arousal from anything but porn, then this is definitely a milestone of success in your journey out of addiction. Enjoy, only be careful where it leads. If you can "love pure and chaste from afar" (to quote a song), then there's no harm done. Ideally, you will at some point find you one of those beautiful women and make a friend. However, if just looking now is a trigger for you to want to go home and throw away your amazing 162 days, then you aren't ready yet. My guess is that you're already awfully good at resisting urges, or you wouldn't be at 162 days, but you'll have to be the judge.
Thanks everyone for your posts. I posted this because I was getting really anxious, and needed an outlet. I do talk to women. I just finished my 90 days right at the end of the semester, and now that there are more women coming on to campus I'm just finding myself in a different situation. Its natural to look at women and feel sexual feelings. There's nothing wrong with this. My problem is that I associate sexual feelings with negative things now due to this addiction and relapses, and I am just trying to adjust to real life. Its a f*cked up situation to be with, but I need to accept that I can feel sexual feelings for a real woman, and it is not a bad thing. It is not P or PMO and is completely natural. My brain just needs to adjust to real life is all. And I will needs lots of support to get there. In response to Reece83, I suppose I don't understand your comment. If you aren't going to support me or add positive feedback, don't comment at all? This is a place to support your brothers in the struggle, and to help others with their insecurities. Lets not forget that. Sometimes babbling is therapeutic. I appreciate everything guys. Thanks a ton