Guilt: Step1- calm yourself through long walks/meditation/long prayers whatever works for you. Step2- find out deep within you what really bothers you Step3- what really bothers you- write down(max 3 things I.e. not too many) Forgive yourself what you did in the past Step4- commit to not do it in tge future For example I said hurtful things to a person in my past. I realised that this bothers me.it makes me feel bad internally and I can't do anything about it and that person has moved from my life. So I forgave myself and made a commitment that given those situations again I wont behave like that. Happiness: i find that it emanates from inside. So dont try to be happy . You will soon realise that sometimes you will just become happy and there wont be no reason for that. So dont try to be happy. Try not to try. What does help is try to empty yourself of material desires. Dont overburdened yourself with excessive pursuit of things. And let go sometimes. Just be the way you want to be. Be real. It's hard to explain right and I have not got it fully myself either.
Be like water, keep moving . I find d that if you focus on a single task too much then it becomes too much and you fail. Also if you are trying to empty a glass then you must fill it with something. Stopping masturbation is one thing and using that energy is another. A 2 step process I guess
There was that movie I once watched. So these 2 men get stuck in wilderness with a hungry bear on their trail. So they find out that the native people, back in the day use to kill bears single handedly. And he repeats this phrase and that is for you " what one man has done another can do too". Stay strong mate. There are people who did it and so will you. All this rubbish we see on the internet and that makes us feel disgusted to the core, having watched it, is not worth looking back at.
Zero days left ... only a few hours left on this last day. Day 90/90 no PMO Day 10 no porn subs Day 702 attempting this challenge Global Counter 95% success since joining Day 252 weight training (M, W, F) Lifestyle: reduced caffeine, alcohol, and sweets, Facebook deactivated Well fellas, now the real work starts of making what I have learned into a lifestyle, not just a 90 day challenge. I am happy I made it to the end before 2020 rolled over. This has been almost 5 years of trying casually and the last 2 years more seriously since health issues with BPH forced me to take nofap more seriously. This was a long ride full of hiccups and dumb choices but also some good ones and growth. I will take this imperfect streak since it is better than not trying at all or quitting due to too high of expectations. My brain has done a lot of rebooting in the past 2 years which is the main goal anyway. I no longer have PIED and my social anxiety has seriously reduced. I am much better able to feel my feelings instead of being emotionally numb from PMO'ing too much. This was far from a perfectly clean streak because in order to achieve some level of success I needed to lower the bar a little. For example, I did look at a lot of porn subs over the 90 days but I did not M or O to them. I drew the line at a relapse when I would P+M+O all at the same time. This is why my posts say no PMO even though I have O'ed many times with my wife during sex and even O'd once in the shower when I needed a release without porn. Porn is the real villain anyway in my books because it is not real and we are just fooling ourselves with it. I did look at P twice this streak but didn't M or O so didn't count it as a relapse either. These are just slips. We all need to call things in a way that works for us since over the past 2 years I have noticed everyone interprets what constitutes a relapses differently but that is okay. If we make it too strict and expect perfection, then success gets more illusive and learned helplessness can set in making us want to quit. Over time and with more challenges under our belts, I believe we will naturally have the confidence to make our challenges harder and fine tune them into Monk mode or whatever works for us. That's my advice to everyone anyway and I hope what I have learned helps some of you a little. I am not satisfied with this streak but am happy to be done. I plan to keep soldiering on in January until I can get it more right like no porn subs in (which of course means no porn as well) and see how that goes. M and O are not the focus at all since I am married and believe a good sex life is the best way to stay sober from P. If I am successful in January with no P subs, I will probably extend it into Feb and Mar which then would finally give me the clean 90 day streak I am striving for. I wish you guys all the best here on this challenge. Never give up and always remember it takes many failures before you find success in this journey of mastering our sexuality. Thanks for your support, advice and just being brothers in this struggle. I wish you all a great 2021 and that one day we will all be free from this addiction. Cheers! Fredi
Ugh, so tomorrow will be day 0. this is now the third time I will be attempting this challenge. Maybe I should back scale to do the 30 day challenge instead of the 90 day just cause I cant even hit 20. First time I attempted this challenge I hit 12 days and the second time I hit 17. So I guess there is some progress there, but I have a long journey ahead of me before I can do the 90 day challenge... I am so sorry to disappoint you boys, but I am afraid I have failed and I must take a step backwards to figure somethings out. I wish you all the best.
Look man a step at a time right. Dont look at how big or small the challenge. I exactly know what you mean by it. It's not that you were knocked down 100 times , its about how you got up 100 times right. That what makes for d fighting spirit.
Relapsed at day 103 . This is so depressing . I thought that I would never have to come back to this challenge but I thought wrong unfortunately .Tho the good thing is that I have lost 10kgs during my 103 days of noFap(from 82kgs to 72kgs) and this has been my longest streak which satisfied me because my longest streak before that was 7 days .Luckily I still haven't broken my no-porn streak .Time to climb on the wall again. Day 1!!
It would be good to share our experiences. The reason being that I did find a strong correlation between controlling your urges and eating less.i started eating moderately as part of religious discipline initially and what I noticed was that eating when you are hungry only and in moderation helps with headaches. I also found in the process that it does give you a degree of control of your urges. It was interesting to see that you lost 10kg.
It would be interesting to know the thought process and what causes a relapse at that stage? It would be good for people who will be trying to make to that stage to start with.. I found that you become complacent and you let the guard down , once you are that far in. The initial vigilance and awareness, at the start, fades away and you take unnecessary risks.