Wednesday check in - started walking for 20 mins every lunch hour, something to look forwards to and always feel more focussed and alive afterwards.
Friday check in. Had a small, but unpleasant argument with my wife this morning (about nothing). Trying not to let it affect my state of mind, put it in the past where it belongs and get on with the day.
there’s nothing like a self pity jerk off session! Whenever I feel the urge to do it (I did yesterday after having a bit of an altercation with my wife) I just think how funny it actually is. It reminds me that the part of me that wants to M is a little boy who is afraid to deal with the real world. The moment I think about it, the urge disappears. I am feeling pretty lucky that I managed to get into double digits with little to no urges. It makes me feel hopeful today.
Hey really need accountability partner. Anyone interested please send me a message. Im struggling with MO. Porn has been weeks since I last viewed.
Almost grabbed my D in the shower. Not today. After that flatlined almost immediately. No urges yet but it seems i can wake them up if i wanted to. Strange. I just dont want to though. Still debating January j'off sesh. At least it will be after the holidays so no funky feelings around family. And that's what i have to remember. I don't want that post 'jerk-O' gross feeling anymore. Even without P masturbation is just icky. Even if i could do it hands free i would still have to be reminded of what i'm doing. There's no escaping the Truth. I think i'm really done with this. But we'll see.
The desire to M is starting to settle inside like an unwanted guest. Well, hello there. I was beginning to think you forgot about me!
Are listening to relaxing asmr videos of women talking similar to meditation on YouTube a type of porn. I have always used it fall off to sleep.
That depends on you. For some it is completely non-sensual, but for others it sounds a lot like jerk-off instructions.
I have listened to bimbo hypnosis. I do not consider that porn, however, there was a sexual component to it so i had to let it go. I did enjoy it immensely and if it werent for the sexual component i would still be listening today. That being said, what you describe does not seem harmful or to be a threat, unless you yourself are seeing it that way. If it disturbs you in any way, then let it go. If it benefits you, keep it. If what you listen to provokes sexual araousal and that is not what you desire, then turn away from it. There are many non-sexual meditations available. I myself do enjoy the whispering. So long as there is nothing pertaining to sex i will listen, though i have yet to find or construct something for myself that will not lead me to the path of sin. The search continues. Be safe. Be aware of your true feelings and motives. I myself have a bad habit of self deception.