I lost it today. I probably was losing it all week. Girl flirting with me at work. I need to put up definitive boundaries there. I’m married. Fight with wife today. Stupid fight. I woke up with my mind in a loop about anxiety. My biggest stressor in life is my job and my selfish obsession with beating my peers and getting promotion before them. I want to move up in company because of job security and beating my peers but not because I really want the jobs or the life of a corporate executive. But I don’t know what I want out of life. I just wander.
We welcome @Paul Newman ! Already figures in the ranking of post 1. Usually those who join present themselves telling something about their life.
Thanks persona2903, I have been struggling with sex/porn addiction for over half of my life, I would consider it really starting when I was around 17 with the arrival of the internet, I am now 39 going on 40. I have recently had to come to terms with how this problem has taken over my life to the point it has now seriously affected my job & relationship. I have been fortunate to be able to afford some therapy and I’ve also began to attend SAA meetings but I have also sought help through the pages and groups here. Looking forward to being part of this group and being able to find support as well as offer it. Thanks
Thanks so much Persona2903 - deeply thankful and grateful for every ones presence in this group which is helping me to keep going one day at a time.
My resentments at work are controlling my brain and I’m binging to help soothe and escape. I gotta recalibrate. I get so caught up in my pride and ambition until I cannot bear not acting out. I have lost my path and my spirituality in this.
resentments are biggest killers for us - the minute they sprout in the mind pray of forgiveness helps. sometimes i find it helpful to say "god is the love with which i forgive____(name)" or if it is myself that is guilty i say " I ask for forgiveness for that which is in me that hates _____" or I ask god to help me forgive. or we can just invite forgiveness in, just being open and asking for His grace to enter in to us. It works. Great job for always being transparent at least here and with us, no mistake is unforgivable, your bound to succeed regardless of how many challenges come up they are all temporary. your freedom and the Love of The Creator is everlasting.
Day 77 - made it through the U.S. holiday weekend here...the family stress turned out to be less than the early polls were suggesting. Had some "shared moments" with the wife for the first time in 6 or 7 weeks. Did not feel any chaser effect whatsoever which is new for me. I think part of that is I really don't care that much about sex right now (any more?). Don't know if that is flatline or a real change in my perspective. It's almost like managing the sexual part of my life is way to much work versus just avoiding it (IRL and PMO) altogether. I don't know wtf is up with this. For today, I will stay clean. When tomorrow presents I will stay strong. I hope the same for all of you too.