i feel depressed every time i leave it cause i am so lonely as i never been in any relationship and i thought college would change that, apparently not. everyone in my art class (which is the only class i am taking in person) is boring. there is a total of 4 students right now in my class and i know some of these girls have boyfriends but nobody really looks at me as they show interest in me unless im bad at picking up signals. they all just keep to themselves, and leave straight away to their car. theres only 1 really now that i would just like to hook up casually with and not have anything serious with just to give me some experience but don’t have any chances of talking to the girl. even when we leave theres 2 exits and she leaves to the other exit downstairs to get to her car. and i am too socially awkward and shy to even start a conversation with anyone so i don’t people to think i am weird if i say something stupid. i had a little courage just about a month ago (and i been here for like 2 months) with another girl in the class i was interested in, she had to leave early and she left when it was on break so that was the only opportunity i had, so as i was nervous as hell trying to think what to say, so i just asked about a upcoming project there was and just asking information about it which she was receptive and seemed friendly, but the conversation only lasted a minute and wasn’t even much of a conversation and she left. following week i was thinking “hmm maybe i sparked something with this girl” and maybe she will ask me the following week “so hey how did you do on that?” or “how was your weekend?” but no, that obviously never happened. then again, they don’t really talk to eachother so i guess i am not the only one. anyway, sorry for the long post folks. im just sad that i probably will never get a girlfriend until i am probably 40 years old due to me not having any sort of social circle. i could use apps like tinder but i only really want it to be my last resort because anyone halfway decent looking on there will have a 100 guys texting them so i probably don’t have a chance unless i was super good looking with a 6 pack. i am in the worst shape as a matter of fact due to bad diet and excessive masturbating. but for anyone who does go to college please tell me does it get any better? i am taking 2 classes next semester but only 1 is in person (due to covid i guess) and i was wondering if that class will be different in terms of socializing. thanks.
While such classroom venues could possibly occasion a social hookup, believe it or not, most girls are probably there for the primary purpose of "taking the class." You can't blame yourself if your advances aren't reciprocated or if girls are otherwise and appropriately preoccupied or are not themselves taking any initiative. Perhaps you need to dabble in more socially designed venues created for social purposes. They have those in colleges, too, right? .
yes but i am new and don’t know much about that stuff or even know if it can fit my current work schedule. well heres some screenshots that i got from my student email. and i am not interested in any of these activities.
Occupational hazard of frequenting this site, I initially misread "photography club" and "pornography club." It probably would be all guys anyway. Well, if no clubs interest you, either fake it (it really isn't about the club right?) or look outside of college boundaries.
It's COVID - people aren't going to be in class and aren't going to hang around people when they don't have to. Plus, as someone else mentioned, they're there to take classes, not get their MRS. Also - you can't expect people to just be magnetically attracted to you when you're too afraid to even ask how their weekends were or a question about an assignment. My advice - stop focusing on girls and sex so much. Find hobbies you like. Work to make yourself interesting by finding what interests you. Read, practice art, garden, do puzzles, whatever. You're going to have to like YOURSELF, even just minimally, before you can expect anyone else to like you.
yeah, media got it wrong where you have movies like for example neighbors where everyone is having a good old time in college where it’s nothing really like that in reality. i don’t know what i really expected then so you are right about that. just hoping this shit will blow over soon. as for your other comment on “make yourself interesting” could you elaborate more on that? i read and do puzzles then what? i have some hot chick in 5 mins knocking on my door after that hopping in bed with me? or is that just a expression? eh, my hobbies are really just basic movies, games, music. i am not no interesting guy by any means and haven’t went to outer space and landed on the moon so i guess im pretty much doomed. im writing this as i got off work and haven’t had that much of sleep so excuse me if some of my posts aren’t making sense.
Make yourself interesting means to focus on things you enjoy. If you like movies, find a movie club. If you like music, learn an instrument. Girls won't jump into bed with you. But they do "smell" desperation. For example, don't go to a bar to find a girl. Go to one to watch the game or hang out with a friend. You'll find girls in places you don't expect, when you don't expect, usually through mutually interests.
i don’t have any friends though and i am even incapable of that. i just hung out with a bunch of my co-workers that are all older than me at a bar with mainly old people in it. and none of those people cant help me out. by that, i mean introducing me to any female attractive friends they got if thats what you meant by “mutually interest” but apologies if i misunderstood you. i don’t think there would be anything like a movie club in my town. i live in a small city of toledo.
Toledo has a university, the riverfront, and detroit is a quick drive away. If you're interested in making changes, you gotta stop making excuses.
university is a good pick with coffee shops, ect. (too bad i couldn’t get in there) riverfront i am not familiar with cause i don’t like hanging around downtown.
Hey man I feel you and let's not even begin talking about what a disaster 2020 has been for mental health in general, most people are not socially calibrated anymore because of the pandemic. However I genuinely believe that most of the time in a conversation people (especially women) will mirror your emotional state e.g. if you're happy they'll feel good, if you're anxious they'll feel anxious. You at least recognize that your social skills need a bit of sharpening maybe start by practicing greeting random strangers and then slowly practice small talk. It's all about baby steps.
i mean i talk alot at my job (i mean i usually have nothing to say most of the time) but that should of gotten me used to socializing. theres some underlying issue here that i am not seeing. i think it may be my diet (as dumb as it sounds) because i am constantly lethargic 24/7 of the time and i am already shy, so mix those 2 together. edit: i just realized you meant “random strangers”
Yeah randomers is what I meant. You make a point about the diet though, it's all about bringing yourself to the right emotional state be it eating right, working out or dressing well etc.
anyone know if this would be a good investment to maybe give me more courage to approach and cold approach girls? i just bought it and wanted to give it a shot as i may think it might reduce my social phobia https://www.amazon.com/Anti-Anxiety...uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl
If I can give you my honest opinion, most of those things are just BS. When it comes to social anxiety, the best investment is probably some kind of therapy, if that is an option for you. But even were you to do that, it would still come down to letting yourself be you- not to sound cheezy but I think that's what it is. People who are socially anxious are constantly telling themselves that they aren't good enough, have to be different in order to be liked. If you really think about it, you probably don't want to fake who you are to meet girls or for anything. Cause then you'll be left with a girl that likes a fake you.
No - assume all supplements are snake oil. If you want confidence to approach women it's not a drug you need - but self love. Find things you like about youself. Focus on those. Grow those like you would a garden.
except i really don’t know how to do that. i mean i workout i guess...? if thats a start. but hardly, like 2 to 3 days a week. but i can’t control what i eat just like i control masturbating, so its pretty much failing.
Working out is different than practicing and learning self-love. Pills can't give you confidence. They can't solve inadequacy and shame. Find something you like about yourself - something you're happy about internally. Focus on that first.