Haven't P or M for almost a week (I only O with my partner) and i started dreaming about sissy thoughts last night, but its strange, I was dreaming about watching sissy P. not actual sissy fantasies. What does this mean?
I have so safeguard this. When every I nofap for a long time I start having sexual dreams. Never of P itself but of sex. They have led to relapse before. You just have to build this into your recovery plan. I saw a great suggestion on here about practicing your plan in different situations. I think this is brilliant because there's a saying that when the shit hits the fan you don't rise to the occasion you fall to the level of your training.
I don't know anything about that as I've never looked at that. But I'll say addiction is a twisted thing and will try to lure you in any way it can, like a demon. When I've been on a little streak, I will start to sexualize women I see on TV, but the demon will even undress older ladies and men, it's a sickness. I don't think it means anything, don't analyze it and stay on your horse in the right direction. Easy for me to say, right - but that's what I think.
Essentially what's going on is that your brain is starved of the stimulus that is feeding your addiction. Either you went to sleep a little aroused or became aroused during your sleep, and you brain started looking for that stimulus. The reason your dream was of watching P was because that's the exact stimulus your brain was looking for. Your brain is conditioned to find sexual release primarily from P. The first wet dream I have during a streak is of myself watching P. As you get deeper into your recovery you'll stop having such dreams, instead you'll just have dreams of normal sex.