Spartan challenge seems to be thinning out lately. @Kratos_GOW any plans on re-opening the challenge? seems to me like we could use more Spartans. Going to keep myself busy again today. I have to get my taxes done, look for an apartment, and I'm due for a leg workout. Not looking forward to doing them but at least they'll keep me busy today. Yesterday I had to force myself out of bed (at noon!) and literally focus on doing one thing at a time. As I lay in bed yesterday I kept recalling past sexual experiences and porn scenes and I realized I was going to relapse if I didn't get my ass out of bed and switch my focus. Weekends can be tough for me. I used to look forward to filling my weekends with weed, alcohol, porn, and women. The old lifestyle was looking very appealing yesterday. I was "this" close to calling my former weed dealer. I miss it lately: the rush from getting high, watching porn, fantasizing, gaming women like trophies, lieing, etc. Because lately life feels tough and I feel like I've been climbing uphill for weeks. I worry, a lot, about losing my job and my apartment. I worry about having enough money, and I worry about the warning lights on the dashboard of my car. I would really rather just call it a day and call up my former weed dealer, then visit the liquor store, and smoke and drink and watch porn and p-subs and escape my worries through the rush of intoxication and sexual gratification, i.e. the easy path, the convenient path, the slave path, the death path. My mind is telling me that I deserve a break from reality. That this new sober life is boring and pointless. That my life decisions ultimately mean nothing to nobody. But my decisions mean something to ME, so I'm going to continue to face my problems and stay busy, and I'm going to do it without PMO or weed or alcohol. And just watch me do it. I'm determined as hell. I don't give up easily. I can be stubborn as hell, and I intend to see this through. Yesterday I finally got out of bed and ended up fixing my garbage disposal, a feat that required several hours of my time, and it was a feat that I never expected to accomplish. I must say that it felt really good to get it done! I guess youtube can be good for some things. Anyway. Much respect and admiration for those Spartans who keep fighting no matter what. Struggle and relapse are tests of our character. No matter what, we can always get back up and keep fighting. A person who refuses to give up inspires me, and I get to witness that every day here on the Spartan Challenge, and I am grateful to be a part of it. It's a daily struggle but I really admire the resilience and tenacity of my fellow Spartans. Please continue checking in daily and sharing your daily triumphs and struggles, even when the days are long and the struggle seems worthless. This helps us all move forward together.
Day 0 Very bad news from Govt that isolated all my region. All closed until April 3rd, got nervous and anxious and lost, but I recognized the root problem of this, my relationship with stress, why I "punish" myself, so Lost but won.
My friend your update on CV is bad news. You are in my thoughts. I know you are doing the best can you can despite very difficult circumstances. I hope CV ends soon. Thank you for the update, and stay healthy.
Check in Day 66,67,68,69...guys there has been minimum urges , but still , I had wet dreams for three days.... specific kind of sexual fetish haunted me in two of the wet dreams....and ione of these dreams was of a female friend...not really my crush , but was kinda good looking , and had a sexual dream of her....
Hey man, I relate so much to you and what you share. I’m so glad you are here. And I totally understand the feeling of missing the excitement and thrill of those escapes. I remember not too long ago a long and sustained period of feeling like life was way worse and almost unbearable without those rushes. Listening to you share really helps me a lot because it lets me know I’m not the only one with these thoughts and feelings. I’m in a worse position now than when I started Nofap. I’m deeper in debt. I’m further behind on my project. And I’m more isolated. All more reason to go back to my old ways. Or try new ones. I’m going to try some new ones. I believe they may help me move into a new life for myself. Anyways, I’m glad you are still sharing. I get a lot from your honesty.
You are winning my friend. I am back to zero again but I feel like a new man compared to the beginning. I feel like I stepped back a few steps after walking a few miles. As long as I keep going forward that’s what matters. You are a true spartan!
Check In Day 1 Hello Spartans! Well, back to zero a week ago and again yesterday. But I have been given incredible perspective. Because I feel like a completely different man. I’m facing fears and anxieties instead of hiding from them. I’m not chasing the pmo cycle anymore. I’m not seeing the pattern of having feelings I want to avoid followed by urges to pmo. A lot has changed. And I feel like even if I stopped here this would be an incredible achievement and life changing experience. But I do want to continue. I do want to go further. And I definitely do not want to ever go back to my old ways. So here I am again. Day one. But not back to where I started. Not even close. Don’t fixate too much on numbers guys. Focus on learning about yourself. On going forward. And on freedom and glory.
day 53 checking in hehe this maybe akward but i was forgot how this feel's like, when i was heavy porn user i never felt like this today i met a woman...she's work at the same company, shes not that miss hot yoga pants with 5cm make up or super hot model's and i feel like i never see her tho, maybe she know me but i dont know her and she's just a type of modest woman with minimum make up and accesoriss...but when i was accidentally see her today i was so stunned ! like omg such a beautiful lady..and we look each other for a second , and i was smiled to her... its not much but that felling make me happy because that time i was so admired to her in a way that not its an sexual harassment
Day 1 checking. Starting again. Studied and worked good today. The situation is really serious, happy that it is taking out the best side of some people, like volunteers or donors, I had been laughed when I was doing it in time of peace, now they want to join, and to help, and I am happy of this, the more the merrier, I am not feeling superior and I don't want to judge anyone. Everybody must do what he wants, and I don't want to hate anyone, just happy that now they joined us.
