So over the past few years, my relapses have sometimes ended in going to cam to cam sites and chat sites, and trying to get off that way instead. I don't know why my addiction has taken me here but I assume it is that the usual stuff lost its novelty and it is more exciting to do something with a 'real' person? Anyway, as a married man this has created a bit struggle in my marriage. I thought I had curbed it and turned my back on it but have just relapsed again. Lots of emotional stuff going on including losing my father suddenly. So I numb myself through PMO and this stuff. I hate the shame of this, makes me feel very low indeed! Need some help
I do that as well. I've spent a lot of money on that as well. I always end up on a couple of those sites. I've tried my best to block myself from getting to them, but know I need internal change. I'm also married and it has affected me in that regard. I'm very sorry to hear about your father. If you need to talk I'm around.
Thanks so much for your reply brother. Yes it's definitely about the internal change. I've put so much in place but because I haven't truly dealt with the underlying stuff I just find another loophole, and that becomes novel in itself. This recent relapse was due to me deciding that I won't reinstall the accountability software on a new laptop straight away. That one decision has led to a total mess and the scary thing is that I still want to continue even though its made me so low. Trying to pick myself back up again
I would advise avoiding ALL forms of live online chat if at all possible. If you must use some app which enables live chatting, maybe send a message, take a break, send another one and so on. Don't get into back and forth chatting with people, even friends, because it can put you on a slippery slope. Quitting this stuff is hard because it's really easy to rationalise, say, going to a non-adult chat room and then before you know it you're in an adult chat room. And there are many more ways you can rationalise yourself into trouble. In my opinion it's best to be ultra-strict about avoiding it all.
Try as hard as you can to stop this behavior now. I moved from porn to cams and chatting. The next level was escorts for me. And now I'm in hell.
I went down the camsites road and it is very addictive/destructive. It's important to understand what triggers the desire to turn to that kind of escapism/relapse and be mindful / aware in those situations. For me it was mostly stress that would push me in that direction so when I've got a lot on I try and focus elsewhere and try not to be unthinking and drift towards a mistake. Also keeping in mind the financial side and instead spending a bit on yourself and your hobbies and development. That way you're not just wasting your time and money on those kind of sites.
The allure of escorts is very strong after chatting and cams. I never when down that path, but I became so close.
DON'T DO IT! Its empty and leaves you feeling nothing but bad. I've heard it referred to before as masturbating into a person. Its so hard to stop though. Do the best you can to shut that part of your mind down. Those girls have their own issues and we shouldn't be exploiting them.
That was my drug. Chaturbate and skype. On chaturbate always looking to find someone to skype with. Not the girls. transwomen. After a while I started adding random transwomen to skype. As they were rarely accepting my invitations or even more rarely online, I added more and more, and that was causing such dopamine rush...Ive added probably 1000 of transwomen to skype and chatted with maybe 20-30. But that rush...opening skype, hoping that someone is online, if not adding new people, going on chaturbate, hoping that someone will be online.. That does wonders to your dopamine release and leads to the full blown addiction. Ive never had severe pied problems with just porn, but after this it became awful. I managed to delete all my accounts and trying to keep myself out of it. Stay away from chats!