After I have completed 480 days hardmode, I watched porn twice without mo. In those 480 days my hands find a way to touch my penis in multiple occasions especially in the early days. However I still lose interest in certain activities whether work, physical activity, romantic, career. I'm still in confusion mode. Anybody can relate or have some suggestions?
I'm in rhe same situation. Nothing interests me anymore. Social interactions, women, relationships, have to idea what career to follow and norhing seems to be an interesting career, feel a resistance to work because I feel extremely passive, hardly exercise anymore, while I used to be extremely motivated to lift, swim and bike. I'm awkward in social situations and have social anxiety, feeling watched on the streets, no interest in any subject I used to be really interested in the past, dont see any reason to even clean the house or make healthy foods. I used to have extreme PAWS and relapsed after 280 days. Now all I have is insomnia, fatigue, lost a lot of cognitive function (like building up sentences and have trouble writing the correct way) and extreme anhedonia. Luckily all the other 50 severe symptoms are gone for now. You are not the only one. Hang in there I guess.
This is common. You have rebooted so well that your body isn't producing enough Testosterone. Go to the gym, never skip leg days and you will be fine. Leg day is important because it works your largest muscle group which helps to create more testosterone. Squats and deadlifts need to become your friend.
It's actually more of a dopaminergic and opioid underactivity in the reward centers and frontal lobes ( VTA, nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex) and overactivity in the fear center (amygdala). Testosteron might be a little bit involved, but not that much.
It sounds like clinical depression to me. Try conditioning yourself to do the things that help you no matter how you feel at any particular moment. How to do that? By repetition, repetition, repetition. Think of your will as a muscle, the more you train it, the stronger it gets. For example my aunt died on Saturday, I had to drive 500km to see her body and arrange everything for the funeral, endure all the sad conversations with relatives during the week and on top of that I woke up with massive headache this morning and blurred vision on my left eye, knowing that I have to organize last things for tomorrows funeral but all I wanted to do is to stay in bed. Nevertheless I got up, did my morning breathing meditation, took 10 min of icy cold shower and hit free weights for an hour as scheduled. I hated doing every single thing I mentioned, yet I did it, because of preconditioning. Preconditioning is the only way how to survive such shitty periods and stay on track when you're experiencing anhedonia.
My condolences to you brother! Actually in my darkest days when paws was tougher, I had my cousin and grandpa who died. I was so ashamed to go to their funerals but I had to... Had to interact with a lot of people who know me including other family members. I put up a front just to be in the moment but everything was forced. And when things were over, it felt like a burden lift off my shoulders.
I thought I was the only one who's still rebooting from PAWS on this forum. And the other rebooters are done with theirs. I hope this coming year brings something positive for us who suffering from paws.
Thanks you. We just have to endure these moments to be of some help to others. I believe we need more time to truly start enjoying life again. We just have to hold on, better times awaits us.
For me it really had to do with overstimulation of the dopamine system and anti reward pathway activation. In the beginning when I found out about nofap all I had was social anxiety, depression/anhedonia and insomnia. Then I found nofap and started the challenge. After 2 weeks I started having severe withdrawals with many more symptoms and even worse anxiety and depression. Then after about 120 days living PMO free, all the symptoms left and felt great. I was charismatic, motivated, slept like a baby, great focus, massive libido, average girls looked even great etc. Then I relapsed and all those benefits left me around 2 days after the relapse. I again started feeling like a zombie. I do think that after many failed reboot attempts, many withdrawals, the social isolation coming from the addiction itself, the severe PAWS symptoms and the very long duration of PAWS can lead to self worthlessness, hopelessness and make you feel like a loser compared to the people around you. This can certainly create a clinical depression on top of the depression triggered by withdrawal. It will negatively affect the psyche on top of the already dysfunctional reward system.
I also must add that after each relapse and extreme edging/binging. The withdrawal lasted longer and longer with more severe symptoms. The kindling effects is real.
If this is momentarily rather than long-term, say as long this feeling doesn't last for weeks without relief - I wouldn't bother. Nobody is a superhero. Life can suck. It can be beautiful, but not always. It's normal that the superpowers we get are not constant, we cannot just be better and better. We sometimes just have to accept that we are good enough. Think of how you really were back in your old life and how you are now. What did you find?
I feel for all of you guys and despite being clean for a while it’s a daily struggle. The 3 biggest reasons for the little success I’ve had are 1. meditating- I use Headspace which has helped in many ways but mainly helped with my impulse control 2. Delete “trigger” apps such as Facebook and instagram. These will lead down a dark path, trust me. 3. Get out of the house and try to do something productive such as going to the gym or even something as simple as taking a walk. I know this sounds extremely boring but it helps. gl guys, we are all in the daily struggle together
Any update from long rebooters? I must say, despite everything I have done so far to stay away from the destruction of pmo. I come to realize that I was severely broken and still is to an extent.
After the relapses, I think I still have a long way to go. Few days from my last I thought I would get a break till yesterday. It was so bad compare to early stages.
Right there with you guys I’m just over 1 year hardmode brain fog is my hardest symptom to deal with.
So interesting to hear from those who have been on this path for such a long time. Just wondering whether brain fog is actually noticing the state your mind was in all along? Has it actually got worse since quitting? Was it ever clear? Maybe I'm a weirdo, but my mind had probably never been clear since I was born until I started making progress with mindfulness and meditation. Now I consider a few moments of clarity in a day a success. I'd like to see what you more experienced NoFappers think about this.
Since I've been hitting long streaks, I've never really experienced brain clarity at least 50%. Whereas before or in my heavy fapping days, the brain was still functional at least 60 or 70%. After quitting, Acute and PAWS that's all I've experienced.
I had a shitty journey today with symptoms like tremors, head pressure and brain fog. Was numb and couldn't shit even if I tried to. It's like my head and the rest of the body are not connected to each other. I thought I was done with this kind of symptoms as I went through a lot of them for months before they started fading away.