The day counter (136) has bred a fear in me of relapsing, what am I without it ? An addict, a loser, incel ?
You are still you, and nothing will change. Don't treat the streak like it is a precious thing you cannot lose. Treat it as like the "sun", which you just enjoy and nobody on earth would worrying the sun being dead one day.
I have same fear, what if i fail. I dont know how to help you with this fear, but i just keep going foward. Dont focus your life on streak. Many people need years to go more than 100 days without NOFAP, but me and you achived it. So be proud of yourself.
Set yourself goals , goals to add to your counter ,, hit the gym , hit new lifts , new body composition, set goals financially . Enjoy your life man, apart from that no one can tell you who you are, only you know who you are