@persona2903 congrats on your 200 days yesterday. You are the first person in the group to reach that milestone.
Thanks for the encouragement, always good! Surely many will overcome that barrier, thanks to the help and companionship of this group!
Checking in. Slipped up. My new thing is that I've installed Covenant Eyes on my phone. I need the blocker. It's taken me too long to finally admit this.
Thanks for sharing in detail how to do this. I will give it a try. I do self-hypnosis audios at night and have found them tremendously helpful for anxiety. I think the fact that you've found something that is visual and involves an online search are two elements that make it similar to porn, and therefore it may hit some of the same dopamine reward buttons, making it an effective substitute. I like the painting you posted. Exotic themes like that are intriguing.
Thanks Wolf! Well the online search is only for the preparation in the beginning. Once you have them downloaded, they are there in a file and you just open them. And yes, thanks. It is an awesome painting and theme. I'm definitely a fan as you can see haha.
Day 0. Square one. Feeling pretty annoyed at my temptation that got the better of me this morning, caught me well off guard. On the positive side at least it's the last day of November so I can start afresh on the 1/12.
@WilBil99 , you have not commented on this thread in almost a month. Do you still want to be part of this group?
A week today. Starting every day journaling and visualizing how good I will feel on NY Eve when I tie my best streak has helped make this first week pretty easy, but I know not to feel overly confident--there's an entire month to go.
13 days for me in another hour or so. Had some tempting and restless moments last night, but I got through it and I'm feeling great this morning.
I've been thinking recently how I don't want to be really old and still dealing with this. It would be disappointing to reach the end of my life and this is as far as I could make it overcoming PMO. But how satisfying it would be to reach the end of my life and look back and remember, "oh yeah, I used to have a big problem with that but I got it under control and went on to do more worthwhile things with my time and energy, things I'm really proud of." What if I just decided, "I'm done with PMO." And then what if I just never did it again? Is that possible? What if it were as simple as that? In high school English I read Pilgrim's Progress and there is a part where the hero has been sitting in a cage a long time, then realizes he had the key in his pocket all along and lets himself out. I think often of that and wonder if I actually have the key on me and when I realize it, it will be astoundingly simple.
I personally don't feel there is any simple way out of porn addiction. If there was, this website wouldn't be so popular. Long-lasting recovery requires lots of hard work and personal growth because, as they say in the 12-step programs, addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. One key for me has been learning self-acceptance and knowing inside that I am an adequate person. Once you start to feel good about yourself and escape the shame cycle, the urge to medicate with porn goes away. That being said, there will always be temptations that can take you down in a second if you're not vigilant.
That part where a bad decision in one minute can lead to a relapse is what makes it tough in my mind. Lots of my streaks have ended on days I started strong and committed. Some days seem different to me as well. “Storm days” I call them. I still need to learn how to overcome those.
I have read the rules and would like to join this group. Longest streak 91 days, had a savage relapse...looking to get back to the basics. Anyone looking for AP, hit me up. I'll add my day counter as soon as permitted to add it.