Sounds like you are making progress and 90 days sober is a great achievement. Stay strong and keep going!
Day 9 Felt strong urges this morning due to an explicit post showing up on my Instagram... Social media is not safe on nofap...gotta be careful. I tackled those urges by going to the gym instead
Great, channeling that nervous energy into something challenging and rewarding is a great idea and expands our identity...
Hey, how you doing? Pt 1/2 I find her, and in her company a new vision and new energy for the path. I've been waiting and thinking a lot about this whole experience. First of all, I want to tell you what I learned and what I found in my search. After posting my last message here, I decided to watch porn and go into that world that I apparently liked so much. It happened that I felt very good and it was very good to watch those videos. But it was richer to imagine those tits and that ass on my face, it was much more exciting and delicious to imagine that presence with me, next to me, on top of me, doing all that I saw. I even imagined that we were doing much more than what appeared in the video. There I realized that I closed my eyes to imagine something else, the question now was: Why imagine anything else when the source of excitement is on the screen? An instant memory of my ex came to my mind, and what we were doing in bed. I can't deny that I miss my ex-ex-girlfriend, and actually, sometimes all the memories come with a wave of cold water in my soul that is a flame of fire. I opened my eyes again and tasted the images ocularly. Then I stopped seeing the genitals and concentrated on the girl's dress. That took me to the next level of excitement and I had an orgasm which I retained (pd. A while ago I practiced that technique and it goes very well, I usually manage to avoid ejaculation). That night was almost a nightmare, I could not fall asleep thinking that I felt defeated, but that I mainly felt lonely and wanted someone's presence. I wanted company and care. Mimos, as we say here. I wanted and expected to connect with someone, touch and feel her body. I have missed my ex, but not only she, but also too many women with whom I spoke in a lovely or sexual way before but who I have also left, not for watching porn but because it is difficult for me to end up connecting with someone. That made me escape a little from relationships. After having thought all that on that night I decided to recover some ties and allow myself to enjoy joint emotional enjoyment. There begins the true story with her. I already knew her, she is a university girl, She is a small girl, with a neat and moderately mixed complexion, her skin tone is due to a clean tan that gives liveliness to her skin, she has long brown hair. I fond her beautiful since 3 semesters ago, but honestly, I never dared to speak to her, it seemed like a lot of effort, so I always let her passed without worrying much, I just looked at her from time to time and she gave me a complicit look. After a while, I received a friend request on Facebook and it turned out to be her. I never talked to her, I didn't know how to start a conversation with her correctly. Then I went out with my ex-girlfriend to a concert, and there I saw her, I played dumb and continued normally. The next day I could not contain it and I talked to her on Facebook, I asked her if she was the one who had been the night before at the concert, she said yes and we stayed to see some beers in a few hours. We saw each other and the night was pleasant, the conversation flowed and I was attracted to her. I don't know how I managed to do it, but even I felt stuck there by the nerves, I managed to kiss her. She accepted it with some enthusiasm and her gaze revealed attraction. I liked that. We stopped talking for a long time until we almost separated.
I will post the next part, in a few hours (maybe). For now, just know that I came back to the challenge. Today is day one even if I manage it well since last week.
Welcome To the challenge. Everyone starts at day 0 here. Check in every day. Tomorrow will be day 1. Good luck!
Check in Day 42 I feel like a new person after all this time. And yet it is only a short time. I wonder what it will be like after 100 days? I want to make sure I do not go on autopilot. Training must continue everyday. Posting here is a big part of training for me. So is reading what other people have posted. I am a free man. Thank you Spartans for your encouragement and support!
Day- 11 , Checking In "Scars are not injuries, Tanner Sack. A scar is a healing. After injury, a scar is what makes you whole." BY- China Mieville
Hi, I really want to thank everyone for the support ... I feel that together we can achieve our goals. In my personal case, something that has helped me a lot has been the exercise ... In the moments in which it urges me. I immediately do some push ups and abs ... I do as many as I can. That has helped me a lot on difficult nights .... And in those moments when I am alone. Another point that has helped me a lot is going out for a while to walk outside ... When I have urges, I sometimes leave my house to walk. This together with the exercise and support of nofap have made a big difference.