1 month. 61 days entirely thus far into this streak. My longest, yet oddly, least linear (in terms of internal progress) streak I've ever had. It hasn't been perfect, replete with ups and downs; but, it is only by reaching the top of a hill that we can see the valley, and by standing from the bottom of the valley can we see the hill we need to climb. Actually, I take that back, it has been perfect. It hasn't been comfortable, but it has been exactly what I need. And I think what many of us need IS to be uncomfortable. With no pain, there can be no transformation. No mud, no lotus. This streak has been in a true lesson in learning to trust to pain, and allowing things to which I've deeply clung to, to pass. There will be days when you struggle, many. Most of this streak has been spent in struggle with my urges, but learn to trust your pain, learn to smile when it arises, because the emergence of your old consciousness means the new is breaking through. the lotus blooming in the mud. I love you guys, and I'm tremendously enriched and privileged to have the opportunity to push through this journey with all of you. I really couldn't do this alone. I think you guys are honestly why I've been able to keep pushing so hard this time around. Thank you.
Today was the 46th day. The last couple of weeks were extremely smooth. I was busy with my internship. I am constantly working and focusing on my wellbeing. I meditate, exercise, sleep well, eat healthy. Yeah, there are bad days as well but still, it was a very smooth journey. I think I am rebuilding my patterns and porn is no longer part of my feel-good activities. It's interesting to see how the upcoming weeks go.
The 37th Today, I looked at my face in the mirror and saw subtle signs that my complexion is improving. Semen retention may just be the elixir some old sages have been talking about.