Hi, I'm new to this site (hence the "2 days" clean badge). I'm here in large measure because gooning videos and sites where men hook up to masturbate to them has taken my addiction to a whole new level. An earlier post spoke of feeling your soul break apart after getting lost in these hypno videos. 20+ hour each weekend masturbating to these "addicted to addiction" videos brought me to new lows. Something about the idea of losing control, being broken down into a helpless state on purpose, pulled me deeper and deeper down. I have some strong sub tendencies and these gooning/hypno videos played right into that. I don't yet know the purpose for these highly produced subliminally enhanced videos. But I know that for me the whole "loser bate" genre was unlike anything I have experienced, and it was like masturbating to my own destruction. I am specifically looking for someone to share mutual accountability to achieve health again. I feel grateful to be clean today and I want to remain that way.
"Don't go back to that stuff ever again." I just repeated that three times out loud. I figure the repeated hypnotic suggestions deserve to be fought back with repeated conscious directives like this. Please anybody tell me if any of this is too graphic. I am recognizing a need to disclose some of what the hypno showed and the words they used. This shit lives in secrecy and is counting on me to be so shamed that I will not admit this to anyone. At the same time I respect the need for discretion due to other vulnerable people here. Perhaps that makes it best for me to save some of my discussions to private or small-group settings.
no, the most dangerous porn is the illegal type, the one that can land you in arrest/police investigation/jail and will ink your fate to social isolation and hate from society until you die..
Right. But I'm speaking about the most dangerous porn "available ". For me..i think this type of porn should be illegal as well.
well, the "available" porn's real threat, is that its a slippery moral slope from there to the "un-available" type.. like "easy drugs" to "hard drugs"
If you mean the videos that contain a lot of different acts that change quickly and display different scene from different movies than I think I was addicted to it
I think there is great value to you and to others. The thread already has a trigger warning, so don't worry about it mate.
I'm still going to be careful for three reasons: (1) Even with trigger warnings I want to be cautious of the impact on others, (2) This early into my journey I don't want to trigger myself, and I noticed some low-level neural activation yesterday sharing some content with someone, and (3) This may be paranoid but I don't want to be targeted by any forces attempting to snare me back into the darkness. I searched this site and there are no references to goontard porn, a genre that actively encourages a person to relinquish self control and independent thinking in favor of a lifetime devotion to masturbation no matter the cost. Likewise "cum denial" porn that encourages fapping without orgasm for days or weeks was exceptionally destructive to me. There's more, but I'll stop there.
Of course anything on here can trigger any of us, that’s the price we pay for trying to get sober. We have to know how bad it can get to help stop. We are like alcoholics living in a bar..the world is a trigger to all of us with porn or sex addictions.
Fair enough. This is edging and is the most destructive sexual behaviour possible because dopamine is released in huge quantities!
Hooray me for picking the "the most destructive sexual behaviour possible". It actually gets worse from there when combined with the "addiction to loserbate addiction brainwash porn". As my emotions wake up I anticipate (even somehow hope for?) sobbing about this but here on day 5 I am laughing because otherwise it's just too overwhelming. This is some truly 21st-century-only shit being unleashed and esoterically it has to mean something. I just got turned onto a musical group called The Comet Is Coming when I heard their second release called "Trust in The Lifeforce of The Universe." So ok. But not by myself.
So are you sure this gooning stuff isn't actually satire or something? I've intentionally read some boards and looked at some captions that discussed it and it felt just weird and scripted.
Whatever it is..that stuff is so dangerous and will fuck your mind big time. Don't go back to it ever again.
I'm ok, don't worry. It doesn't even arouse me, it just makes me feel disturbed. I can see how it may be a problem for some people, especially those into JOI etc, but it's still such an over the top thing. Like I said previously, it actually helped me because i was "gooning" in the past but i didn't even know there was a name for it. I used to be extremely addicted to porn.
It's the worst kind, because you're exposing yourself to much much higher levels of dopamine compared to a standard PMO session. This is where I went wrong in my 90 day noFap streak. I would spend hours on Reddit browsing pornographic content, releasing all this dopamine without MOing. Basically gooning.