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157 days, stil feel like shit...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Mattew, Oct 27, 2018.

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  1. Oct 29, 2018 #21
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Well, i think that getting out of pmo, i probably am founding myself completely confused...it's like i lived in a hole my whole life and now i'm coming out, and i'm overwhelmed...that's just an hypothesis.
    I never used any kind of drugs, so i don't think there's more issues of all the people heavily involved in pmo from a young age.

    The money i lost the last week surely make it a lot worst, but i was already in a bad place even before the last week.

    It is very possible that i have been depressed and super anxious all my life and i have been covering it for 20 years with pmo.
     
    Mattew, Oct 29, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 29, 2018
    #21
    Freeddom_Taker and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Oct 29, 2018 #22
    godsbelovedson93

    godsbelovedson93 Fapstronaut

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    Keep trading and working out bro. There’s ups and downs in everything, keep doing what you enjoy, this will pass.
     
    godsbelovedson93, Oct 29, 2018
    godsbelovedson93, Oct 29, 2018
    #22
    Mattew likes this.
  3. Oct 29, 2018 #23
    NicoRobocop

    NicoRobocop Fapstronaut

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    sometimes i feel falling to pieces and empy too... it's a long process
     
    NicoRobocop, Oct 29, 2018
    NicoRobocop, Oct 29, 2018
    #23
    Mattew likes this.
  4. Oct 30, 2018 #24
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    The sensation i have right now, is like that my addiction is dying, and is trying to make me feel like shit to make me watch porn and masturbate, so the addiction can survive.
     
    Mattew, Oct 30, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 30, 2018
    #24
  5. Oct 30, 2018 #25
    Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    I know your feeling. I have not come close to that streak though. I think I’ve only made it about 35 days. But when you feel terrible you get so tempted to look and numb the pain. It’s so hard but keep going. And holy cow. That’s a really impressive streak. Congrats!
     
    Fallensoldier1, Oct 30, 2018
    Fallensoldier1, Oct 30, 2018
    #25
    Freeddom_Taker and Mattew like this.
  6. Oct 31, 2018 #26
    Ryan Veitch

    Ryan Veitch Fapstronaut

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    The addiction does feel like a parasite, trying to force it's host. Even to the point where it strikes suddenly when you think you have beaten it.
     
    Ryan Veitch, Oct 31, 2018
    Ryan Veitch, Oct 31, 2018
    #26
  7. Oct 31, 2018 #27
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    I couln't take it anymore, i just relapsed with an escort...
     
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #27
  8. Oct 31, 2018 #28
    pmofreeliving

    pmofreeliving Fapstronaut

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    How much time are you spending online?
    This includes your phone and computer for work and also for entertainment.
     
    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    #28
    Mattew likes this.
  9. Oct 31, 2018 #29
    pmofreeliving

    pmofreeliving Fapstronaut

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    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    #29
  10. Oct 31, 2018 #30
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Like...16 hour on a 24 hour day...
    I'm day trading, i have to be always near a computer with internet connection.

    And i know it's really bad, i should do something about it.
     
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #30
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. Oct 31, 2018 #31
    SLeepisLost

    SLeepisLost Fapstronaut
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    How do you feel after this relapse? Going to escorts is not like porn tho. No coolidge effect binging. It's just one chick where you have physical contact with. I wouldnt really count this as a true relapse. It does activate the dopaminergic pathway we try to heal, but maybe it helped your reboot, who knows. Just curious... after such a long streak, how long did it take to reach an O?
     
    SLeepisLost, Oct 31, 2018
    SLeepisLost, Oct 31, 2018
    #31
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  12. Oct 31, 2018 #32
    Guysavi

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    What kinda change were you expecting? What kinda power and mood? You thought you could become president of the USA? :D if you had any such expectations, then you're on the wrong boat.
     
    Guysavi, Oct 31, 2018
    Guysavi, Oct 31, 2018
    #32
  13. Oct 31, 2018 #33
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    If I were you I would change the room, or rearrange at least where the computer is now, especially if you used to pmo there. You can experiement also changing your OS outlook, using other browser etc, because everytime you sit there your brain think its pmo time.
     
    Deleted Account, Oct 31, 2018
    Deleted Account, Oct 31, 2018
    #33
  14. Oct 31, 2018 #34
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    To be honest i feel good. I still have no will or need to watch porn or masturbate. I know the lady, we also talk and i understand that maybe i needed this, to get out of the hole i'm in right now.

    It take me maybe 10 mins of blowjob and another 10 of sex to come, but i stopped here and there to last more.
    I also had a second round and i think i could have go on even for an hour if i wanted, but the time was short so it was probably 20 minutes of hig intensity for the second round.
     
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #34
    SLeepisLost likes this.
  15. Oct 31, 2018 #35
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Honestly i have to think about a life change. Working all day and late night in front of a computer is becoming a real problem.
     
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #35
    pmofreeliving likes this.
  16. Oct 31, 2018 #36
    pmofreeliving

    pmofreeliving Fapstronaut

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    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    pmofreeliving, Oct 31, 2018
    #36
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  17. Oct 31, 2018 #37
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #37
  18. Oct 31, 2018 #38
    (: Amazing!

    (: Amazing! Fapstronaut

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    This may not have to do anything with your NoFap, just go and see a psychiatrist, and talk to him or her in a private session. He can give you medicine for your depression if you must have it. Anyway, seeing a psychiatrist is not big deal. Suicidal thoughts are not for messing around...
     
    (: Amazing!, Oct 31, 2018
    (: Amazing!, Oct 31, 2018
    #38
  19. Oct 31, 2018 #39
    Mattew

    Mattew Fapstronaut

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    Read a half of it, actually i find that very confusing, bad written, and you can really see it was written by a young guy. I already know all the arguments in there, nothing i didn't already know or read, i think it's more useful for young people.
     
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    Mattew, Oct 31, 2018
    #39
  20. Nov 3, 2018 #40
    Ryan Veitch

    Ryan Veitch Fapstronaut

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    I suppose it's at least with a real woman so your body responses are being keyed to something real. And it looks like the sex was good. Do you believe that your brain seems to have healed from the PMO?
     
    Ryan Veitch, Nov 3, 2018
    Ryan Veitch, Nov 3, 2018
    #40
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