Day 1 completed. 89 to go. Let the strength inside me reveal itself, to complete this seemingly leviathan Sisyphean endeavor. Godspeed.
Well I made it 33 days but back to 1/90 now. It was a good run, so not depressed. Back to it with more lessons learned and ambition stronger than before.
So I relapsed again on Friday afternoon. It was almost as if my mind was telling me "well you have already failed by looking at those images earlier so why not just look at some more... Why not M as you have relapsed anyway by looking so you may as well have the pleasure of PMO too"... And I fell for it... So that's my two week streak out of the window and back to zero, again! I am going to try to worry less about my thoughts about P and M and instead focus on my mindfulness and meditation practice. Try to allow my thoughts to come and go and understand what I am feeling at those times... Not to get so hung up on the fact I had thoughts about P and M and instead watch those thoughts and feelings pass me by... Resetting my counter to Friday afternoon. This journey is proving harder than I expected...
Bro sorry to hear that you relapsed, and you know what, there's nothing wrong with you, I was right where you're at, I wouldn't help it, no matter how hard I tried. What I think is working the most for me is I'm holding myself accountable to my mentor, like I wouldn't want to even think of giving him the bad news. Plus I have it ingrained in my mind the harmful effects of porn. So ask yourself is it really worth it, what do I gain from it? What can I lose if I continue with it for several years from now? Could you imagine your future wife walking out because of your obsession? Maybe leave with your kid or kids, turn your whole world upside down? I know this probably extreme but visualizing some of the things has helped keep me on track.
4 / 90 id just feel it. and i quietly say to my mind. NO! and when i'm writing this post , i saying to myself . NO! if anyone can read this , just learn to say NO! "TRAIN YOUR MIND AND THE BODY WILL FOLLOW" - STEPHEN CURRY