Each time I'm alone at home (Fridays or Saturdays) I fap like 4-5 times to porn Please write whatever u think would help. I wanna regrow my hair. There's some improvement, but it's not enough.
Well, you have to realise that you have the choice to either do or dont do pmo, you need to be clear with yourself with the reasons why you want to do Nofap. If you have no real powerful reasons for doing nofap, a relapse might come easy.. Also, what helps me a lot, is this forum, and videos on youtube about nofap. GL
My advice is to start slowly, you want to reduce the amount of time and frequency of your current routine of PMO... Set yourself a goal today... Instead of PMO 4-5 times, during Friday and Saturday... work towards only 1 session on 1 day per week... Say every Saturday... No longer than 15mins of PMO for that session... For a month... only 4 sessions of 15mins per month... When you find yourself experiencing cravings, then take a cold shower... go for a walk... go for a run round the block... call a mate... play a video game... watch a movie... get your mind away from PMO... After a month... you would have spent only 1 hour of time doing PMO... and believe me, you will feel like a million pounds... Next thing I advise is to start learning about addiction, start learning about how porn effects the brain... a great book/audiobook is below: https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/ Buy it, read or listen... Hope this helps mate
Also, what helped me a lot (I understood this more from a youtuber): we only want what we value. We want things which we think will benefit us, or which gives us pleasure. So, if you see pmo as something totally crappy, with no real benefit, you wont desire it so much. And also, i myself was a long time in 'pleasure seeking mode', its helps if that switched more to a purpose seeking mindset. Pleasure is some temporary high, but doesnt give any real satisfaction and life fullfilment. When i keep these things in mind, it makes nofap easier for me.
Your using porn as a substitute for boredom. Whether its stress, boredom or any other strong negative emotion you are training your brain to escape it or not face it. Before when i knew i had something stressful to do, i would get very strong urges to look at porn and masturbate, i did not want to feel stressed or deal with it. You need to fill that emotion with other activities.
Even though I would like to believe this thought, I can't. I think it doesn't pay enough respect to the fact, that porn is a real physical addiction. It's not as simple as saying "Porn doesn't benefit me in any way" and now you don't crave it anymore. That's not how it works at all, at least from my experience. I would even argue, that probably 99% of guys, who relapse constantly (myself included) know exactly, how destructive porn really is and that it doesn't bring anything good to our lifes, but they relapse nevertheless. I appreciate your insight, but I don't believe it is true.
I agree. I was introduced to porn at a young age and always had a way to watch it because of the rise of internet/technology in my generation. I was first shown porn by a person who was actually sexually abusive towards me, a male, and it warped my sense of self and sexuality. I find myself watching shameful and fucked up porns that make me relive the shame and misery and even make me want to commit suicide, but I still impulsively watch it anyways. It's called "addiction"... It's more than just poor or immoral life choices
Willpower is everything you've got to fight addiction! Don't be fooled by all tricks people use, like filters, accountability partners etc. It all comes down to willpower at the end. Are you man enough to fight your cravings and say no to PMO when your anxiety, depression, headaches, mood swings kick in? Willpower and discipline are the only ways to get rid of PMO. I don't use filters or anything else for that matter, I just don't watch it. It's a matter of choice, your choice. If you're willing to go through hell to get rid of your addiction, you'll succeed, if not, don't even bother, because you're not mentally prepared to endure hell, before things get better. During withdrawal torture, no filter, only your willpower stands between your success or relapse. You have to develop whatever it takes attitude, if you want to succeed. The best way to develop it, is through discipline. I run 10 km 3 times a week, cycle 50 km 3 times a week and weightlift 3 times a week. It's hard but I do it, just to prove myself I can do it. The same willpower helps me fight addiction, when things get rough. I don't despair over my anxieties and depression anymore, I try to find out and cure causes of it. PMO is only our tool of escape, once gone, we have to begin mental repair or we'll break again sooner or later. Abstinence is not an answer, it's only the beginning of hard but beautiful self improving journey. Hate your "sins" love the sinner (you), that's the right attitude on your road to recovery. I've been in hard mode for 4 months now and it's totally worth it. My anxiety and depression have eased, higher self-confidence, more attractive to women for some reason -> more socializing, more dates, becoming really fit plus started resolving my underlying psych issues which led me to compulsive PMO.