Hi all, just a quick post about the benefits I have experienced from completely cutting out porn and porn-substitutes for the past month. Included under porn-subs are anything that allows me to "dopamine surf" like games, watching YouTube, eating junk or browsing the web aimlessly. I feel more confident, comfortable in my own skin Reduced anxiety in social situations, more fluid social interactions Can hold conversation with people whilst looking them in the eye More attention and attraction from girls - very noticeable Bigger, harder longer-lasting erections in the morning I can begin visualizing the future again...a feeling called hope! More time to accomplish duties and responsibilities No shame any more! Feels liberating Lost weight More assertive: I can challenge others if I feel they are wrong This has been my longest streak in almost 2 years. I have been able to achieve this by admitting to myself that I am an addict, and taking defensive action against exposure to porn - porn blockers, deleting suggestive apps (e.g. Instagram), changing my environment etc. Hope this inspires others to keep going!
Interesting perspective on Psubs...normally I think of Psubs as substitutes such as pictures and literotica, but any unproductive activity that wastes dopamine really is negative.
Thanks AuraQ. I have found there is a link between the two. Unproductive activities are a precursor to PMO for me...I can feel it in my head as a soft ringing which is the same as when I'm craving porn.
Nice work! I think it's good to categorise those extra things as p-subs. By replacing pmo with real-world activities, socialising and accomplishments, we recover better and faster IMO.
Congrats @sakeen on completing 30 days !! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring post !! Keep inspiring & keep going!!
Awesome! Already feeling a few benefits myself. The "superpowers" are just beginning to percolate in fits and starts. But...you guys are right. I think my longest streak was 42 days a few years back but I wasn't working out or eating that good so I didn't get the full benefits. Anyway, made me feel really good to read this. Congratulations!!!
Want greater confidence, don't use blockers, use your willpower. All these crutches we try to lean onto to "help" us are just meant to be broken. Dominating your addict mind is a mind game in itself. These crutches plant seeds in your addict mind that you can't do this without them. The addict mind will water these seeds, and in a few days or weeks, they will sprout and you'll be right back into its clutches.
I have an extension on chrome and edge that blocks thumbnails on youtube vids...as you know, a lot of youtube thumbnails contain boobies/suggestive poses by women to get you to click hem, so at least this removes that temptation. YouTube also gives you the option to restrict adult materials in the settings, so I've activated that too.
100% disagree. I can't emphasize how wrong you are. Nearly every single piece of published research on substance and behavioural addiction shows that addicts that rely on willpower alone will inevitably fail. The most successful are those that use what is called 'diachronic strategies' - i.e. actions taken ahead of time to prevent exposure to triggers/cues or temptation. I tried willpower alone for many years and I have failed every single time, as have countless others. Porn blockers are extremely important for anyone who is taking this fight seriously.
I guess I am an exception. Do what you need to do to get to the same outcome. I just know that I have done what I have done all by Myself, and that gives me greater confidence that I can beat my addiction. Good luck. After more research, I offer that the argument surrounding addiction and willpower is clouded by ideology/philosophy, and those things are further clouded by political and religious beliefs. Interesting. I guess there is only one true answer, and it is the one we hold Ourselves. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/jen-simon/addiction-poverty-and-the_b_4731613.html
I think there will always be exceptions. You can of course do this through sheer will-power, but the odds are stacked overwhelmingly against you. Looking at heroin addicts in treatment, relapse rates are in the range of 60-80%. Recovery is defined as drug-free for 5 years+. In those cases, failure is the normal, success is rare. 12 step programs work because they reinforce that as human beings, we are weak and fallible. That we must also enlist the help of a higher power to help us break an addiction. The concept of doing it "by myself" is just anathema to the most successful addiction recovery program the world has ever seen.
I beat smoking cigarettes by just walking away and never turning back. My last cigarette was 13.5 years ago. The trick I learned by a cessation expert (WhyQuit.org) was that you cannot ever have just one again, NEVER. I am applying this same principal with Porn. To beat this addiction, I have come to the conclusion that I can NEVER look at it again. Sounds extremely daunting, doesn't it. That's why I take each day as it comes. Never is always now; now is always Never. Focus on TodayBeforeTomorrow, which is my username here. My new porn will someday be a beautiful woman.