Why do I get lonely when I don't MASTURBATE? Also, I was here a few months ago, went an entire month, felt like I was improving... then i failed, its been a while now and I don't know what to say, I just really hate how anxiety, and the internet as a whole has really put my social life behind. My social life is non existent, and I'm sometimes unsympathetic, rude and mean to girls. Honestly, when I hear the word "triggered" I genuinely don't want to hear what you have to say, because its usually just bitching. Idk, how do I work on myself, and not feel lonely? goodnight, will read in the morning if i haven't killed myself already
Talk to your family about this. You should get some counseling from a licensed therapist too. Maybe call 1-800-273-8255 (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline) if you’re feeling like you’re really going to do it.
The lonely feeling here is your subconscious trying to manipulate you to masturbate to get the dopamine hit. You must have masturbated a lot before when feeling lonely and created this habit / pathway... Your sub-conscious is a junkie. It can't be fully trusted until it is cured... Don't sweat the small stuff - making friends comes with being active and engaging in pursuits you enjoy and meeting others who enjoy them too. Each day or two think of something you'd like to do - then do it. If you enjoyed it, do it again. If not, try something else. It doesn't have to be anything dramatic. Just something that engages your mind or your body or both. Don't focus on making friends. Focus on enjoying the experience and friends will follow.
Not going to do anything, just feel like shit. Saying it is helpful enough to just feel better sometimes.
You are lonely and you're using masturbation to stop feeling it which is counterproductive as your basically putting your life on hold and nursing your addiction rather than finding / working on a better way to live.
I've started feeling heavy loneliness too since I've started, but it hasn't made me want to relapse at all, it just makes me incredibly depressed on the day it decides to strike. When I fapped 5-6 times a week I didn't feel lonely at all, I didn't want anything to do with girls. I think fapping is tricking your body into thinking it's getting sex, so when you aren't, your biological urge to mate manifests itself into you as loneliness (or being horny, but I've never felt both at the same time) and wanting intimacy (there's a reason you don't usually want intimacy with the same sex).
I'm lonely as hell - I'm trying to figure out something to do that help me meet people... it's like, if I was a good tennis player I could join a club or something.
I had this before, for me I did meditation, as this is a good way to relax about the whole thing and let things happen naturally without stress. In particular law of attraction meditation helped me, as well as nofap, and going to martial arts training helped to take my mind off it, and I even met a friend or two from it. Also cold showers help with boosting testosterone which affects mood. With the girl thing, I'd recommend getting urself to remember all the kind acts girls have done, cos atm your probably focusing on the bad acts they do, which makes you mean to them which makes them meaner and so on.
Focus on improving your life independent of others. That would be my first piece of advice. If youre not already - EXERCISE. Like several times a week. The benefits are endless. Find something you enjoy and do it. Focus on progressing career, hobbies, passions etc. Read interesting books. There are LOTS of things you can do to better yourself that DOESNT involve your social and sex life. Lots of ways to feel fulfilled. The more you feel fulfilled independent of others, the less lonely you will feel and the less likely you will relapse. Loneliness is simply a mental and EMOTIONAL response. You can boost your emotions by focusing on other areas in your life. 8 days on nofap is a promising sign As for meeting people, just get yourself out there more. Join clubs, socials etc. "My social life is non existent, and I'm sometimes unsympathetic, rude and mean to girls". Well if thats the case, then change it. Work on becoming the best and person you can be.