Hey, I've got a toxic father who I dont live with long time(divorce at 7yo). Today passes 20 years after divorce. Everytime I've got family reunions at my grandparents house: xmas/birthdays he's there and is very very toxic for everyone. He has so much bad energy that outcomes to everyone...especially for me - we didnt go along for whole life. Most of my weaknesses/low confidence/stuttering and many many many other things come out from him. From his laughs, words, actions .... Everytime we meet i feel so much burdain, so bad energy from him, im devastated. Im sad when my birthday come, or xmas because I know I would have to answer the phone and listen to fake wishes etc. He wont change so my only option is to escape. I even dont want to be on these family reunions. How to escape from toxic father?
Just be patient and tell yourself these are only some hours I will spend. After all he is your father you did not choose him.
I've had a lousy Dad and a lousy stepdad and I was bitter about it for a long time. If I think about it, I can trace some of my shortcomings to either their lack of presence in my life or their outright poor example/teaching when they were around. We're adults now though - we are in control of our lives. Don't give him the authority to negatively effect your life. Be the better person and respond to his toxicity with the antidote of your own growth and achievements as an individual. I show my dad/stepdad that I am better than their example/teaching by being a good husband and father.
Just tell him you love him. He's God's child, just like you. You can't kill him. Sticks and stones, broski.
You don't have to see him or speak to him OP. I cut my dad off for the second time a few months ago. First time was for a year. This time will be forever. He's a liar I can't trust , very passive aggressive and very selfish. You don't have to keep in touch with them just because they're your parents. That's what people will say that can't imagine being in your shoes in my opinion. Everyone's situation is different and ultimately it's your call Good luck