In reading out here, I find many posts quite triggering. For example, my ex claimed that I "never wanted sex" which is simply untrue. Many men out here claim this about their wives. What I didn't want was being pushed into things that were only self serving for him, all about him. I didn't like being harrassed, pushed, criticized and abused because I didn't want pornified sex. In thinking about this, I realized men who are addicted to sex and porn are like very obese people on documentaries that need bariatric surgery to save their lives. They have tried not eating to no avail. If they live with someone who cooks normally and eats normally, the person they live with probably seem to want very little food to them. The person they live with is not obsessed with food. They eat for enjoyment, sure, but are not thinking about it 24/7, where their next food is coming from, what it is going to be, salivating over every food commercial. Someone who is addicted to food probably thinks normal people are "disinterested" in food. This is simply untrue, it just seems so to the addict. Because sex is a 2 person "sport" all the accusations for years from the addict take a toll. "You never want sex". "You don't like sex". "You aren't imaginative" etc etc. All false accusations. Imagine from the food addict "You never want to eat anything". "You don't like food". "You never want to go out to eat" etc etc. But really, you're just normal and not obsessed. Something to think about.
It must've been difficult to have a sex partner as a partner especially if he thought that he didn't have a problem. One thing I've learned with any addiction is that it exists typically because that person is unhappy in an area of their life so they use temporal pleasure of a substance like food or sex for escapism. When it comes to sex in particular it can be very different for both men and women. It seems most women need to be in a good place emotionally to possibly be in the mood for sex. For most men this isn't necessarily the case, a man can be in stressed or in some kind of bad mood and would still want sex, in fact sometimes that's even be why he wants sex. I hope your life has improved.
It was very difficult and interestingly, I didn't know he was a sex addict until the end, I just knew his behavior was horrible. Men think they can hide it and maybe women don't know what the exact problem is, but it oozes from every pore of him. Once we know for sure, the pieces all fall together.
