My husband (PA) is super obsessesed with genital piercings. He had many himself, most of the girls he dated before me had them. A lot of the porn he looked up had to do with women being pierced. I hate it. Have hated it since the beginning but somehow in a desperate attempt to make our sex life better I ended up getting my nipples pierced for him. I hated it the entire time, everything it represented. The one side never healed properly and finally after about 5 years I removed them. So along with him watching the porn, and me not feeling like I am enough for him because of that I also have this evil lirking in my mind. So I guess my question is , is this considered a fetish? Is there help for those who have such fetishes? Should this be addressed at his next counseling session? To me, its a big deal and I feel like it should . To him, its just always something that has turned him on and not a big deal. To me, its just something else that makes me feel like I will never be enough or what he actually wants and he is just settling.
It sounds like a fetish. If it is a big deal to you then it is a big deal in your relationship and thus is a big deal for him. If you are already in counselling then bringing it up seems right. You say Is he doing something about that? Obviously I am biased (this is a site for porn addicts and our partners) but I think doing the work to quit porn will give him the strength (and the psychological tools) to see his fetish for what it is and to move away from it.
Yes , he started counseling last week. I feel positive about his feeling on what he did wrong as far as the porn goes , but I don’t think he sees a problem with his unnatural obsession with piercings .
