Hey all I'd like to share my story and my addiction as of recently. So I started this new medicine (2 years ago) called olanzapine for a mental illness that I have. It turned out to be a really good med, but it came with a few side effects. One of them was that I on a weekly to every two weeks basis end up 'MOing' to a girl from heaven. Let me explain.. So basically I hear a voice (sometimes it's a voice but sometimes it's just feelings) that is of a girl and that wants to have intercourse with me. So I end up 'doing it' with her. What I basically do is imagine a girl is with me and I rarely touch my penis but I release to my sexual things (positions) I do with her. This started when I prayed if I could get a girl from heaven to have intercourse with me and I still ask that prayer. Also this is directly correlated to my use of olanzapine. Like I've had it ever since I started that med. I've seen my psychiatrist, done adjustments such as addon medicines but to no success. Recently I binge relapsed and I just relapsed to the same thing recently. The only thing I haven't tried is stopping olanzapine but I'm afraid I might relapse in my illness (go psychotic), but if that's going to stop me from doing things I hate I'm happy to stop it. Who knows I could be on a better med. Just fyi, I'm pro psychiatry and medicine and they've helped me throughout my life in my illness. So no debate on that..
