Tomorrow I a going to meet my gf after like 3-4 months. So we would be having our private time together. So I wanted to know would if it is considered as a relapse and will slow down my progress in this journey or is it fine to be intimate with my gf and see how it goes for me. I don't think I would feel much tomorrow as porn has fucked up my feelings and emotions, but it would be really nice to see her. So how should I go about this? And guys if you're going through this post, please refer to my earlier posts in my profile and please try to answer some questions there. It helps when you get to know other people's perspectives and really motivates.
Well it is certainly not sinful to be intimate with a person you love. So go for it! Best of luck you two!
theres a lot of ways to respond to this situation, and no way is 100% correct. ultimately, it is up to you to define what sobriety is and what it isnt. intimacy with a real person you care about can be very healing / grounding. there can be many benefits. but you will also be receiving the chemicals in your brain that PMO gives, so it is a double-edged sword. one of the big tell-signs of acting out is if you lose control afterwards. does regular sex lead you to self-harming activities after? this is one of the questions you can ask
I cast my vote for don’t do it because it will prove that sex is not your greatest need. Rather, connection is what you are looking fo.
I think you are right upto a certain level, but I also wanted to know where do I stand at that point. I was able to penetrate besides of my PIED, but you are right, for the emotional part, it wasn’t there at all. So I might work on that too now and give her more time. I don’t feel like talking to anybody whether it be my friends, my family, my girlfriend. It feels like waste of energy and also i am very result oriented person, so when I’m doing something I want fast results from it which doesn’t happen in every case, so i have also become less patient. So it’s not only porn that I need to control watching but also my other habits which were affected due to that. It’s a long way but I’m ready for it.
So I met her yesterday and we had our time. I was able to hold my erection although it was a little weak but still I haven’t seen myself like that before and I was very happy to see myself like that and I was also able to penetrate her besides of my PIED. I still don’t have any urges for porn and I don’t find any sexual content hot and urging nowadays because of my strong mindset. I want to control myself instead of porn controlling me. I want to regain myself and my confidence, I don’t want to be that cuck guy which I used to be before. I want to live like a King and focus on myself more now.
well glad it worked out. you have the right goals in mind, but those goals will not happen without work. Keep coming back here and posting every day, get an accountability partner. I also recommend checking out nofap videos and / or going to an SAA meeting. We have to work to make recovery a part of our routine, or at least thats what has helped me the most. Stay strong brother!
I have seen various posts here and everybody is like they were able to recover from PIED after at least 90 days. But I saw a great improvement in my condition within a week span. So I really feel that I would be able to recover from it much sooner and that’s what I am aiming for. And about my gf I love her a lot but that spark thing, I am not able to feel that right now. Maybe after sometime when I will regain myself completely, maybe then I’ll be able to feel everything normally. I want to feel that warmth while hugging her, that spark while kissing her, which I used to get before. I miss those days and those were great days. I still remember the day I first kissed a girl and I was so nervous and excited. Now kissing feels like it’s nothing and my lips feel like they have some outer covering which restricts them to get a feel. I’m not even kidding it just feels like this. But i just want to heal myself whatever it takes. And yes I am now posting new posts everyday, whatever progress I’m making and definitely it feels so good to see so many people are on the same road as me and are recovering and seeing the benefits. So kudos to everyone!
Glad youre here with us just remember, PIED is only one symptom of PMO addiction. As you continue sobriety, you will notice many other improvements in energy, brainfog, self-confidence, anxiety, depression, and more. I would be careful to not only do nofap to get your pp going again. Theres lots of benefits to a sober life. it also really improves our relationship with others. Keep it up!
