I feel like a bad person. I think I relapsed on my 60days. Which happened to be the day after my year anniversary with my girlfriend. she found deleted messages from an app as we have porn blockers installed, I didn’t remember if I went on that app or not but I think in the end I did. I have been telling her I’m doing okay and getting better but when she finds this out it’s hard to tell her the truth, I resorted to lying and now have dug my hole deeper. I don’t want to tell her I did it because she will think it’s her, I need to tell her though as honesty is very big in our relationship with everything and especially as she’s been starting to trust me more. I think I’m going to lose her, I need help
Is she understandable and don't want to lose you. Well if the answer is yes, you can tell her. And if the truth is very harsh tell her half of the truth
I’ve told her… it has not gone well at this current, I’m not sure what to do I don’t want to lose her
Make this a reasonable motive to quit your addiction forever. Maybe when she finds you really change; she forgives what you did in the past
Couldn't help to notice the part where you mentioned you deleted messages. Where you talking to someone else? Depending on what your gf boundaries are that may be a big deal breaker for her even more so than P. If that's the case you really really need to cut that behaviour and make some sacrifices in the spirit of change, stuff like really comit to exit social media and other chatting apps. I don't want to pretend that I understand our partners pain but I think cheating goes beyond just P, they are linked, but it goes beyond. In any case you need to deal with asap and give that behaviour a definitive blow. On the other hand, sadly now you are in a position where you have no control over the relationship. She is now to decide if she will give you another chance or not... Hopefully she gives you another one and you do her fair. You do have control over your actions though, and you always do, so that's the part you can work on...if you really care for her take your commitment to the next level and show her through proof and actions that you are doing everything in your power to get better. In the end that's all we can do. But with time, hard work and change porn will become less of a threat as you become stronger. Then you can shift your focus to worry about making your gf the happiest woman on earth. Also whenever you have a complicated chat with her which I guess it may happen again, be bluntly honest if she ask you a question. Very likely that she wants an answer to the question, but also very likely that she cares about you being honest as much as she cares for the answer. I truly wish you the best and I hope things get better
