Something Ive been noticing lately as a sign of this (frankly, heavy drug) addiction is that I feel most "normal" a little while after relapse. Sure, there's the grief, shame, and self-hate immediately after. But then there's sometimes this re-focusing of my life and I seem to function with more... I dont know how to describe it exactly... but it's like the chemicals in my body *feel* right. And only for 24hours and then I crash and am fiending for the next "hit" again. It reminds me a lot of substance abuse stuff, and I'm sure what's happening is very similar. Like, life becomes the nightmare and the drug addiction becomes the "normal." It's such a twisted hell, and I know by doing nofap some of the chemicals will rebalance without freaking PMO. but does anyone find themselves taking meds during reboot to keep up their sanity / dopamine / other chemical levels? I just feel like I'm losing it lately, so any thoughts help. and if it isn't clear, no I don't support relapse or PMO in any way, this is just a phenomenon Im trying to understand.
