This is mostly for me, but if anyone wants to comment advice I would like that. I'm tired of half assing, the priest really tore into me last confession, made me say exactly what it is, said if you can't say it I won't ever beat it, and I have relapsed twice since... I ain't gonna get miserable so I can do it again, bashing yourself impulsively trains the same impulsive muscle that makes you do it. I will have a goal this time, a real one. The goal is 100% abstitence, no peeking, if I fail, I will force myself to pray 20 rosaries, back to back, don't give a shit, cause I ain't giving up.
Hi Adwilliam! I see how you are eager to find purity and freedom from pornography. Struggles suck and not reaching that desired streak, is just depressing. I feel you. But don't give up. I know you're determined and I know you have it in you! You will reach your goal, I'm certain of it. I will be praying for you! And if I can do anything more, just ask. We are here for you, brother!
There is a section for reboot logs here; https://forum.nofap.com/index.php#reboot-logs.8 Glad you are committed to being back on the wagon. But be careful, shame is a quick exit to relapse. Dont fall into the shame cycle: Let your higher power guide your and be your ally in this journey from hell. And use the tools of sobriety: journaling, getting an AP / sponsor, lifestyle chance and new hobbies, research and education, etc. Few addicts can "willpower" their way out of addiction. I hope you use these tools and your recovery journey. Good luck, were here to support you
