Hi! I am kind of new in here, and I need some advice from you guys. I have suffered from PIED for almost four years now. Sometimes when I am with my GF I have problems with ED and sometimes I don't. My last PMO was almost 17 days ago and since that day I have had sex with my GF (who I have been seeing for almost 3 years now) 3 times. All 3 times were better than ever for both of us and I didn't have any problem with my ED at all. My question is now: Am I even allowed to have sex with my girlfriend?? I know it might sound a bit stupid, but after reading some of the posts in here I am really not sure?
It depends but usually you are allowed to have gentle sex with your partner but without orgasms. Read this for a detailed discussion : http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-with-a-partner
The only time you really need to abstain from sex with a real person is if you are using porn fantasy to orgasm or to get an erection or if you have severe PIED or DE. In hour case it sounds like things are going well so my advice is to continue rewiring with your gf. Just make sure there is no fantasy and you are focused on her. If you find that ED is coming back you can always take a break or please her without you Oing.
There's a huge difference between sex and PMO. Make love with your girlfriend if you feel like it, even if you orgasm. You're not doing it in front of a screen, you're doing it with a real person, most likely someone you love. It doesn't count as relapsing for me, but it's subjective.
I think that surely having sex with your girlfriend will help rewire your brain to seek out real sex rather than seeking out porn. I may be wrong but I don't see it being an issue, if anything it should help. Someone correct me if they disagree
Yep. There shouldn't be any problem as long as you don't fall for a major pitfall: using porn, or memories of porn, to get aroused. All arousal involved must come from the other partner, and that person only. Or else, you will be seriously ruining your long term recovery. Good luck. DS.
Normal sexual activity without fantasy is ok in my book. However, be mindful of the "chaser effect." After getting a dopamine hit your brain might start craving another and trip off urges for PMO. Keep your eyes on the prize and you should be fine. Good luck!!
also be mindful of how you're achieving your orgasms. Last night I o'd in less then a minute from a BJ. Pure physical stimulation, focussing on her. My second O was from missionary, and while I was fucking my girl a porn fantasy poped in my mind, I tried to nudge it off. It went away then I starting thinking about this other girl I know. Nothing sexual, just told myself in my mind 'yeah (name) this is what's going to be happening to you sooner or later' and I fucking O'd so quick. If u end up fantasizing make sure it isn't anything extreme. try avoiding it all together.... if U can't o from just physical stimulation.
If you still cannot O from physical stimulation and need to fantasize in order to reach climax you shouldn't be having sex. Try two weeks of hardmode first, but fantasizing during sex is like using a warm body as a masterbation tool which is a setback to your reboot. I also don't think your girlfriend would appreciate you thinking of another woman while you're inside of her. I sure as hell wouldn't.
Thinking about fucking another girl during sex IS sexual! This is continuing to rewire your brain to fantasy. Anytime you O to an image on a screen or in your head you are keeping the pathway going. Why not stop, change positions, talk to your partner if you are having issues. You don't have to continue with sex and resort to fantasy.
These are my thoughts. I would say having healthy sex is essential towards intimacy and connection with a partner. Maybe find time for a 'reset' while she's on her time of the month. It would also depend how often you and your partner have sex. If it's everyday, that kinda defeats the whole purpose. The trigger after having sex and then using porn later on or the next day let's say, is something to stay diligent with. Cause it gets really easy to just start viewing porn again, I find.
Thanks for all the answers! I can really relate to the chaser effect. Me and my girlfriend doesn't live together yet, so thats means that I can't just have sex when ever I feel the urge to PMO. But It kind of helps just to know the fact that the chaser effect is an actually thing and not just me being horny. To avoid the chaser effect does it really helps not to O? I mean I could only imagine that it will enhance my brains craving for a dopamine rush, when I tease it like that?
No. From my experience the first couple days after wards I'm literally a walking erection. the cravings will be there but if you're determined it'll be nothing more then another day. The key is not cave in and learn to cope and deal with the post urges. Its more or less a post sexual hangover.
Its not about dopamine or fantasy or something of that sort, its about semen leaving the body. It does not matter how it leaves, once left the body is gonna get weaker, muscles are gonna get looser, period. So only do it when absolutely necessary. Your semen is your life force. Dopamine and fantasy has nothing to do here. If you do max 2 times a month, you will still progress and get stronger. But if you go for a higher streak that's always better. The chaser is there because of weakness. Normal person should feel satisfied for more than 10 days after having sex.