You can try to change your behavior, but you can't try to change the way you think overnight Today I realized that there are moments in the day when I have little urges because my head is thinking (Before this challenge I would be masturbating right now...) and it isn't a thought I can erase that easily. I've been able to change various behaviors that don't trigger my PMO (such as not lurking the usual nsfw sites), but I can't seem to change my way of thinking so easy. So, when I'm in those moments, the only thing I can do is let it pass. I read now and then on some posts that some people watch porn to reassure that they don't relapse, but in my opinion, you're only feeding your mind with a known process thinking pathway that sooner or later will get to you and make you relapse.
Hi bludknight, Yeah, I don't even know how you can rationalize that watching porn will help prevent a relapse. It's funny that you say that about those thoughts. Sometimes I seem to have thoughts completely unrelated to PMO, sex or horniness, that seem to just be pushing me towards it anyway. I guess that's the addict brain talking. Things like that can really bog you down, so don't pay them any mind or they can cause a slip.. Keep it up!
This is a great topic Bludknight, thanks for posting. For me, up until this week I was rationalizing to myself that as long as I could go 2-3 days without looking at porn, I wasn't addicted. But now I see I was just bullshitting myself. For the past month, I went through a phase where I told myself looking at porn in small doses was the way to quell my urges, but it eventually led me back to a PMO binge. On your point about having random thoughts, I agree this is 'normal'. I have flashes of images in my brain from favorite porn stars, or even specific images that I used to watch a lot. They seem to rest just behind my conscious level of thought and pop out randomly. In the past that would have been when I would have gone and looked at porn, but now I am just letting them flash in my mind, accepting they are there, and not acting on them.
Completly agreed, i feel the same way with urges, even tho with the days are easier to control i just know that if you feed the process, as you put it very well it just gonna trigger a chain reaction to PMO and the shame/guilt cycle, its not overnight you are completly right, its gonna take a while like taking down a house brick by brick i guess
