I just wanted to take a moment and say how much this site and many of its members has helped me to overcome my addiction to porn. My story, like many of yours is a long one. But through support, encouragement and accountability I was finally able to admit to me wife/shoul mate of 25 years that I have always had an addiction to porn. It was difficult and emotional for both of us. I feel liberated and finally whole, since now there are no secrets I have left to share. I never told her because of my shame and feeling that I was cheating on her through my addiction. It was only a week ago that I found this site after once again slipping into a bad habit of surfing porn, shortly after going on the www to do research and the like. She has since shared with me that it is going to take time for her to trust me again, and I completely understand. I’ve come to realize that for too many years porn has been giving me the dopamine response that I use to get from she and I being intimate, or not even intimate, just being close with one another. She is and always will be my soul mate, true love, and one that I wish to spend my whole life with. Now, I can at least say I will start giving her my whole entirety! In a sense, I feel reborn and not in the religious sense, just in th sense of anticipation and wonder as to what this world has to show and teach me as well as what I can give in return. I am going to treat and cherish her the way I use to during so many of our early years together! She deserves that at soo much more. For any of you that have a significant other and they don’t know about your addiction, I beg you to let them in. Tell them, confense it, own it, kno wthat it will be difficult but liberating as well. After all, he/she is your true accountability partner! All my best to each and everyone of you!
Great words!! I am so pleased for you. This addiction thrives in darkness and secrecy. Talking to others, confiding in those who care about us, gives strength to overcome and live.
Your story is inspiring, but I still do not think that telling one's SO is best idea. We should spare them the pain of betrayal. We started PMO alone, we must stop it on our own. Stay strong brother.
It truly is a blessing to be surrounded by people who want you to succeed just as much as they themselves want to succeed. It makes me happy to see you take such important steps in your recovery.
I understand how you feel that way. In my case I got so depressed that I was having suicidal thoughts all the time. I finally broke down and told her about how I was feeling and she helped me through it. It’s been a challenging 6 months for the both of us. In my case, telling her everything was the best thing I could have done. Too many, get depressed, or worse and they never come out of their addiction. We are stronger with them than without. Keep up the good fight!
hey man! I am SO HAPPY that you've come clean to your wife! But this is a success story section, the minimum requirement to post here is 30 days of Nofap, man! I sggest you move this post to Self-improvement or any other thread you see fit.
Thank you for the info. I had no idea about that. I’ll try and figure out how to move it. Nice job with your recovery! You can do this!
it must have taken great courage to cope open to your wife! I think you've got a wonderful relationship going on! Keep it going, man. I've never been in a relationship lol! I look forward to your 30 day post in the self-improvement section!
Thanks for that. I’m not sure I would have ever told her without the support and stories from some of the members here! Porn is such a terrible addiction. Not certain why I ever began to look/read/watch it. Guess we are all imperfect. That’s all right though, I now have all the support I will ever need to overcome it. All my best!
Oh man it is.....i am concerned for the youth of today who have access to smart phones and internet. World needs us to be rid of this addiction and be MEN!!!
So much anger in your response. I didn't mean to offend anyone by my comment, Your argument is not without merit. All I said was that it is not enough. And btw I only formed my opinion about this matter after listening to this podcast https://www.podbean.com/media/share/dir-rxx4a-415cb9d Basically : Your addiction & every relapse has collateral damage (your SO). If you don't tell her the hiding and secrets is not good for your relationship. If you tell her, you hurt your wife (for every relapse) and damage her self confidence and the trust between you two after every relapse. If she agrees to help, your recovery becomes under a microscope, which is good for your recovery but not so much for your relationship. Recovery takes time, your SO might not have the patience (which is her right). Which is why Many men who tell their wives are eventually given the ultimatum (relapse = divorce). In conclusion, Each one has to weigh the pros and cons and decide for themselves .
Could not agree with you more! I wish it didn’t progress as quickly as it did just for my own sake and my relationship to my wife and daughter. Well, maybe I can help other young guys/gals beat this horrible addiction!
I agree but we are all coming from a different starting point...look at me, I kept this from my soul mate for close to 25 years because of my shame and guilt and feeling as though I was cheating on her by reading/watching porn.
It may be, but at some point, we need to start living in the real world and feel the good then and the ugly because in doing so the rewards are life altering and real.
