wondering if any of you men could help a SO out?...

Of course I would prefer we have sex through all of this and get used to doing that but he can’t perform. And what happens when he can’t perform? It makes him not want to try again/if he does try again he thinks about the possibility of losing his erection, which makes him lose his erection. All while, it makes me feel upset and self conscious and paranoid. So. That’s why we’ve been advised not to attempt sex until he’s been PMO free for 90 days. I was extremely pissed off about it at first, and even broke the reboot twice by initiating sex but it never ended well so now that some time has passed and I’ve seen that the sex I’m throwing fits about isn’t any good anyway, I’ve come to terms with waiting the 3 months. IF it helps him, it will all be worthwhile. I’d rather have good sex in 3 or more months from now than shit sex followed by fighting now. But yeah, I have to basically just wait and hope for the best.

 

I think I agree with @GhostWriter on this one.

I forget when it was (2, 3 years ago?) my porn addiction first came to light. I lied, and lied and then lied some more .

When I was finally convinced in my own heart that I had a problem and needed to change my wife said "i thought you quit porn a long time ago?" and I had to tell her "I lied" That is what addicts do. especially addicts who don't want to recover.

Perhaps you could get softwareblike covenant eyes .I havent used it but an accountability partner on here has. it can be both a porn blocker and it can send detailed accountability reports to you.

I hope your husband isn't lying. But I tried doing this on my own and it didn't work. This story isn't unique. I hope I'm wrong for your sake (and his)

 

I understand your position, but let me ask you this? Do you do things during your attempts to help him, hands, mouth, encouragement?
I suffered major ED, when I remarried. Due to the past sporadic porn use, but also to 2 prostate surgeries & an emotionally wrecking previous mostly sexless marriage. My libido & ability to hold firmness was gone.
My wife, who is a nurse worked with me, teaching me exercises, doing some herself on me etc & after a few weeks of consistency, I returned to form. I struggled a lot with low self esteem because I had ED & she helped me think positively.
She knew I relapsed early this year because my performance began lagging again. One thing a man can't hide is ED.
It is great to feel like my 30s again & I'm 54.
My wife also showed me there are so many ways to make love without intercourse. I hope you aren't staying intimacy free for 3 months??

 

Not hijacking thread, but point taken.