Everytime i say is "I'll never do it again. p0rn is disgusting and useless." but next day I trying to focus on my work, flashback hits me and I trying to resist the urge and urge always defeat me. the endless loop.
it happens because your brain needs dopamine every time your brains tells you to watch porn do something else that makes you happy like listening to music,talking with friends or your family members, or simply go outside for a walk do some running and get back to work.
Here are the two most important things to break out of the loop in my opinion. 1. "Play the tape forward." This means, when the urges hit, don't just instantly respond like a robot and start looking at porn. Instead, think ahead to how you'll feel after you spend hours on PMO - exhausted, empty, defeated, etc. Realize the horrible crash is not worth the short-term gratification. 2. Have a plan to divert your attention towards something else until the urges fade (which they will eventually). Something like a crossword puzzle, or take a walk, or meet a friend for coffee, or do a guided meditation, play a video game, whatever. The important part is to have this plan ready to go when needed so you don't just default to the same old porn cycle.
@grapey123 @chiyu Hi grapey123, chiyu is right. His #2 above is a valuable tool in overcoming this problem. He is describing a distraction technique. You need to devise one now, before there is a problem, because once you are going down the rabbit hole it is too late to make it up. Getting out from in front of a computer by any means possible is a good distraction technique. Going to the mall, getting out, going anywhere except where the activity can be comfortably engaged in. Also, do not run from the pain of quitting. Embrace it, embrace the withdrawals; they are a good sign. It is your dopamine famished brain punishing you for not using, meaning, obviously, you are not using if you are withdrawing. You know what they say: you have to learn to love withdrawals. You need to prepare to quit this. Everyone one of us who have overcome the problem has been exactly where you are now. We casually attempt to quit what many now accept as an addiction. It will not happen that way. This problem, for many, is a serious problem. You will not quit it casually. When you quit you have to define yourself as a person quitting porn. During those months it takes to get clean, that is who you have to be in your own mind, when you get up, when you get out, when you return home, and while you sleep. What are you doing in that time period? Anything but porn. Much love. WillIAM
Just set your goals and go over them every day. Then imagine yourself that you have achieved them. It will be a temporary good feeling. But it everything starts with a dream. And when the relapse comes, and it probably will. Just get back to your goals and keep going until one day you are free. But this is my way. I believe it will work. The urge starts with anxiety, anger or sadness or need. It's necessary to fill your mind with good hopes and goals. Don't let your brain tell you "you're weak, you failed and it's time to forget your dream". No way! Another thing that helps is meditation. Emotions and thoughts are responsible for my relapses. Most of the time they are... useless. Focus on breathing and let the thoughts go away. At least for a while, your brain deserves a break, doesn't it?
