What Do/Did You Want?

I'm not in a relationship right now but I do ask myself what kind of woman would I want. I've come across women who have a pretty liberal attitude towards porn. They seem to think there's nothing wrong with their SO looking at it. I remember on this forum a guy said he broke up with his girlfriend because she thought there was nothing wrong with porn and he was being stupid for giving it up. I guess I wouldn't want that but neither would I want someone who has a meltdown if I tell them I looked at porn. I don't want to be with someone who would make my life a living hell because of something I've done. I want someone who recognises how dangerous porn is and understands why I would have looked at it. Someone who would support me in my recovery.

 

Honestly a dude/gal who's nice to me and supports me in my endeavours, doesn't push my boundaries or force me into things I don't want to do.

Doesn't talk down to me or make me feel like an idiot.

Everything else is optional haha.

 

Yea, for me I think this is what created my situation. Started when I was young and at home and of course you keep it from your parents. It just stayed with me after that, and I always saw it as "not a problem" because "it's always been there". Never stopping to think that "it's always been there" is likely why there's a problem.

 

I can’t speak for all men, just myself. What I want is a woman who’s honest, loving, and who cares about me and accepts me for who I am. This doesn’t mean she’s indifferent to my flaws, but that she sees my worth despite my flaws. That is what I had, and here’s what I’ve found out. I can’t keep such a woman in my life if I don’t also have that type of relationship towards myself, because if I don’t live that towards myself, I won’t treat her with the same values, nor will I accept the genuine love she has for me as being real.

My issues with honesty, love, and self-worth are the roots of why I gravitate to things, like PMO, escorts, hook-ups, etc which are void of all of those values, and which don’t require the exercise of them. The root of those roots is pride.