To delete or not to delete?

Exactly why Smeagol is my avatar

 

No half measures, dude. Yes, deleting it might cause you to seek it out again, but having such a giant resource that you are so comfortable with right at your fingertips will sabotage your efforts, especially at this stage of your reboot.

This is your test. That collection represents everything about who you used to be, everything you want to change about yourself. Are you serious about quitting for good? Actions speak louder than words.

Put aside the porn and live. Not as a snake, but as a man.

 

To quote Yoda: "Do or do not. There is no try."

 

I was sharing some gifs with friends. My gif collection includes a lot of porn as well. Only the best of the best. And webms as well. I almost relapsed.
Delete that shit. It is not part of who you want to become so burn it.

 

@xSolidSnake86 I'm going to be coming from a different perspective here. I know you have that large collection and you aren't ready to delete it yet. I have also noticed that you have reset your counter quite a few times since you have made this thread. I have trouble all the time without a stash, if I had one I can imagine it would be ten times harder for me. But there might be a difference between us, I am ready to give up porn and be without porn for my entire life, I find no need for it. You may not be ready to take that leap yet, and it is a big leap. You may say you are but deep down you don't want to give up porn and that is ok if you are not. It is your choice a lot of us have already lost a lot to porn, I have lost relationships and definitely don't want to lose a marriage over it. You are going to have to sit down and truly decide what you want to do, if you do want to do nofap for life then you need to get rid of porn because it won't be an option anymore. If you don't think you are then quit beating yourself up on trying to quit it is just going to cause a lot of pain. Remember if you aren't ready it is ok, no one is forcing you to. Just decide who you want to be and go that direction.

 

Not to discourage anyone, but I have deleted my stash (mostly webcam models) countless times and then regretted at the point that I downloaded it again.

I think the problem is not the files in our HDs (I have mine on SD) or the easy access to too many streaming sites (I once read something about half the internet being dedicated to it) but the strong will to keep our cool. I mean, a smoker has access to cigarettes at anytime, but chooses not to smoke.

I quit smoking, came back and then quit again, this time (I hope) for good. This other addiction will get easier, I hope.

 

Delete it. You have to. It's one of the first things I did. Delete the lot of it. It's an insult to the intelligence anyway.

 

I know this kind from my own past, many years ago.

Here some advice: Put it all on a harddisk, and put the harddisk away. Far away.
For me, this worked very good. There was no "regret" that I had deleted it, and this made it easier to forget the harddisk.

The really important thing is to acquire new skills and new habits. Most important is to learn to do instead of thinking.

 

I know a lot seems bleak right now and I can't say I know how you feel. But a lot of that, besides your medical problems, can be fixed with porn. Just don't want you to be able to rationalize suicide if I or anyone on this thread can help. We are all a community here and want to help each other out. If you want to make it more personable you can pm me or anyone here. Sounds like you are out of your 20's and I am about to be 30 myself maybe I can help.

 

I did that exact same thing about 20 times during my peak stages of pmo addiction, which ended about a year ago. Even though I was enjoying it, deep down there was a part of me that was telling me what I was doing and watching was wrong and I was ashamed of myself. But the addiction always won and I ended up re-downloading everything I deleted. It makes me laugh to look back and think how much time I wasted re-downloading everything, haha. This was all before nofap or knowing any of the negatives associated with porn by the way. Had I known what I do now I would have never went back to it like I always did.

 

Don't misunderstand me here, I'm not a Bible thumper or even a conservative, but I find the metaphors in the Bible very instructional. This is the Idolatry principle.... seen first with Moses when he comes down the mountain and see that they've build the Golden Calf because they did not trust that the real God would deliver them "Moses tarried" . . . yeah, well God's about to let your ass tarry for 40 years in the wilderness wandering around. The first thing Moses does is make them burn it and smash the Calf to powder . . .then he makes them drink it and it's bitter. The thing you're worshiping is an idol and is making your soul bitter. It's poison, even though it's enjoyable going down. But there's a reason you want to quit. It's a substitute for a real sex life, with a real partner who you could connect to. Moses didn't say "hey, put the idol away you guys". He said "smash it, destroy it, eliminate it". I you want to move on you have to close one door in order to open another. I for one, want the life that is out there waiting for me. I can't have it until I bury my old life grieve it, say good bye. Then I know I'm serious, I've burned my bridges, and my ships!! It's fight and win, or die on the road.

 

Lose it. In this particular game, you are either all in, or not in at all. Time for you get all in.