Hello! So, today marks the day I started my project. I don't know what to call it just yet, but let's get into the details. Goals: 1. Identify my taste on women 2. Proving the so called, "There are plenty of fish in the sea" 3. Proving if my taste will only bring me "bad" partners 4. Proving if one can really judge one's soulmate just by looking. 5. Help one realise that getting rejected is common. Background: 1. Got dumped 2. Works as a distraction. 3. Pure curiosity How it works: 1. Identify girls whom I'm attracted to. 2. Ask them to take a picture w/ me. 3. If step 2 is a success, maintain a healthy relationship w/ them. Of course, not romantically due to the traumatic experience. So, what are your opinions? Should I keep going? Should I revise something? Is it worth my time?
Your goals are good. I think I'd back off on the language a little, substituting "testing" for "proving." I also think it's beyond a distraction. I think people in general need to do an inventory of their life and figure out what they want exactly, and why they want it, in case they want things for bad reasons and need to adjust what they are consciously pursuing. This applies to multiple aspects of life, not just romance. What do you want out of a career, etm. This is as good a place to start as any. I do think your methodology might be a bit flawed. Taking pictures with strangers may be a bit far. I'm an older guy, I don't intuitively understand what is acceptable for the youths right now, but I wouldn't consent to a pic with a stranger in all probability. I'd go for lower stakes. Just try striking up a conversation and look for social cues on whether they are receptive or not. That will help you understand rejection better, but a good way to learn your attraction patterns is to identify who you have already been attracted to and why. Then run some thought experiments on what could break the deal, realistically. What if she smokes? What if she's vegan? What if she steals from the convenience store? What if she liked the Barbie movie, there's all kinds of things that may or may not be red flags for you. I fully support not pursuing romantic relationships at this time. My rec. is 90 days clean, minimum, so you give yourself time to clear "porn brain" and also prove to yourself you have the discipline to quit, and not saddle someone you'll care about with an addict for a boyfriend. Introspection is definitely worth your time, though. 100% a step in the right direction.
Sounds like you are looking for new women in your life, and I support that. I guess I don't understand the picture thing? Why not just approach them, tell them why you are attracted to them, and ask for their phone number? As @Meshuga referenced, why does everything younger people do require documentation with a photo?
thanks @Meshuga and @nomo for the replies. Well, yeah now that both of you have brought it up I now do think taking pics might be too far. Thanks for the consideration. Also, I fully agree on not pursuing romantic relationships until 90 days no doubt about that. I realise that was the reason why I got heartbroken because I was still "sick" and got into a romantic relationship. And yeah I might as well just approach them talk. That's a better option. I'll keep on updating the progress on my project. Thanks both you!
Yesterday I took a photo with one girl and I think she sees me as some kinda freak but fair enough. Let's just call this girl A. I'll try to talk to A again and make her fell comfy again. Won't make any flirty moves. I'm not quite sure why I'm attracted to her. Maybe her facial structure? She has like those anime facial structures. I don't really know. For the time being, I don't really see any red flags. Well, what I can do now is just socialise and try to know more about women AND ALSO be clean for 90 days. Discipline, discipline, discipline. I'll just call this project The Search for the True Queen considering my name has an element of a King in it.
Your first mistake is in the title. You should be searching for another person, not "the queen". Really, look for her as a person, with flaws and qualities, with good and bad. Because at the end of the day it's just another person that you should be searching for, not this pedestal that is "the queen" that makes you have unrealistic standards and then screw everything up. You will also be unable to connect on a human level, because she's not a person, she is "the queen". Goals: 1. Identify my taste on women -> You don't have to, if you like someone, you like someone, does it matter why? maybe your vibe well or so on. 2. Proving the so called, "There are plenty of fish in the sea" -> Yes, there is, but there is also plenty of good and bad fishermen. 3. Proving if my taste will only bring me "bad" partners -> If it does, then you have to look at yourself and see why you picked the bad women to begin with, but trying, and trying, hitting yourself against the wall repeatedly, isn't the way to go. "Here, let me date as many women as I can, then I'll find out why I always pick bad women". Doesn't work like that, you have to reflect on yourself why you pick bad women, not to date as many women as possible hoping you will figure it out. 4. Proving if one can really judge one's soulmate just by looking. -> Nope. Looks are just looks. I'll show you a 10/10 picture and a 2/10 picture, which one is your girl? 5. Help one realise that getting rejected is common. -> Yes, but then again, there is plenty of good and bad fishermen. Maybe if you get rejection after rejection your tools are bad. Background: 1. Got dumped -> I'm sorry, genuinely, and hope you will do better in the future. 2. Works as a distraction. -> That's a +, it's work as a distraction, not drugs as a distraction, good for you. 3. Pure curiosity -> Indeed, good reason, I admire it. How it works: 1. Identify girls whom I'm attracted to. -> Ok, that's easy, you look at them and see if you're attracted to them. 2. Ask them to take a picture w/ me. -> Why tho? why the picture? When you can just spend the time getting to know the person? 3. If step 2 is a success, maintain a healthy relationship w/ them. Of course, not romantically due to the traumatic experience. -> Yes, that's good, but why the picture, can't you just skip to 3 and try to have a human connection with them while trying to get to know the person? for me it would be very weird if a stranger came "hey, let's take a picture!".
Wow, now I really see how broken my brain was. Okay, thanks for the feedback @Nerevar Well, I think I have to do a major revision to the project. I won't change the name and other things for the time being because I really don't have any time due to my responsibilities in life has been very demanding. I do have an update on the project but I'll write it when I really do have time. Maybe next weekend. Thank you again, mate. I really don't know how to express this much gratitude to you.
