Last relapse time place trigger 04:30am Thurs. Emotion at time - heart broken and full of regret What accelerated the fall? The final trigger was just sending a whatsapp to a buddy who read the text but did not reply but prior to that it is the fact that I have been chasing a younger woman and she just went with someone else. Prior to that I've just been having a mid life crisis deeply questioning the last decade I am going to keep my promise to do a 3 day fast and prayer as a consequence of this Rationalisation used - complete shutdown of prefeontal cortex just on autopilot to numb the emotional pain of rejection, and shame that I don't just accept my lot and move on, and shame that I lack gratitude What boundaries were ignored?Boundary of allowing sexual fantasy and looking at sexual content; Boundary to never fish again; Boundary to stop fishing ( convinced myself that once you pop u can't stop - untrue, another lie, just unwilling to bear the discomfort of desire); Boundary to go onto P sites; Boundary to never look at clips; Boundary to never binge - all of these boundaries were violated What triggers? see above and of course I was utterly exhausted Commitment - never to look at P again
Day 38 Lessons learned today. I haven’t been praying nearly enough, and I tend to react negatively to new information when I’m not in the right mindset. I want to go through life lighter, and with Good Friday just passed I realise how important it is to hand these things over to God.
//Day 4 - A brave friend, Tom Bombadil, takes notice of your quest. He teaches you a rhyme to summon him if you fall into danger within his borders. I met with a NoFap Support Group today. That was nice.
You're doing great guys! Amazing how you keep struggeling knowing it's the right thing to do. Very inspiring. Happy Easter and keep up the good work! 1 day - At Buckland, Bilbo gives you Sting - an Elven short-sword made in Gondolin. It will turn blue when porn forces are around. Quest Item - Sting
Day 1 Today isn't Day 170 Yesterday I went to delete my old reddit account. I didn't visit reddit about 2 years. I created it when I was addicted to pmo. I forgot that .After I went to reddit , I saw some bad pictures and after that I Scroll throw the adult content in reddit. I didn't engage MO. But I'm sorry brothers!
Day 39 Watching a show with my fiancée that featured some unexpected scenes - prompted a chat about how my recovery is going. I asked how I should respond to these scenes, and we decided I should make the effort to look away if they come up. Felt embarrassing to talk about, but it can only help me.
// Day 5 Not a fun day for me. No matter how many times I went outside, exercised a little, sung songs, or prayed, I've been weighed down with fierce temptation. I probably won't last the night, but I'm here now . Day 5 done.
Day 111 You reach the banks of the Morgulduin, the polluted river that crosses Minas Morgul. A cold steam issue from the river whose stench and vapours sickens you.
