Hi everyone! I'm currently traveling for a total of 10 weeks and I'm on week 6 right now. I haven't PMOed and it's actually going pretty smoothly. However, my girlfriend sends me (half-)nudes of herself every now and then (so I don't forget what she looks like ) and yesterday night we were sexting for about an hour. I didn't touch myself at all but just enjoyed thinking about her and remembering what our sex life is like. Today I had a very very bad case of blue balls though because I obviously got myself all worked up but didn't gave it any release. So I'm kinda thinking about masturbating together with my girlfriend some time soon, maybe via skype/phone/sexting. I'm not quite sure though if I really want to though because even though it would be a shared experience and not with a strange pixelated pornstar doll. I'm wondering if this would be within the boundaries of my NoFap-"rules" that I made up for myself... So what are your thoughts on sexting/phone sex in general? Keep in mind that I've already rebooted successfully, so I'm not really in danger of needing to start over or whatevs. Do you think sexting / phone sex is just another form of sex between a couple who truly care for each other or is it just a different form of PMO?
The only one who can decide if this is within your NoFap-rules are you. And I would treat the fact that you're coming here to ask us as a signal. My opinion: Too dangerous. It is M, it involves visual stimulation (P-ish, even though it is your girlfriend's skin on the screen), and it aims for O. For me, that would be too close to what I'm trying to avoid (not to speak of the chaser effect). Come on, 4 weeks to go! And congrats on rebooting!
I'd have to agree with seventyniner on this one. It's a dangerous game you're considering to play. When I was at my absolute worst, about 9 months ago, it was because of sexting. It drove my need and sent me down a terribly destructive path. Don't reset now, it's not worth it.
Wait until you can have sex with her, because today you will masturbate with the picture of your girlfriend and today with online porn. Real sex is million times better! Good luck man.
I agree with what has been said so far. However your case is a bit different. Because you're in an amazing streak and already recovered. If some guy based all his sexual release in sexting, etc. that would be all artificial stimuli —same as P. But since you only have a girlfriend, and this is not going to be a once-a-day thing (right?) I don't see a problem in doing it occasionally.
That's a slippery slope right there, personally I don't really see anything wrong with sexting or phone sex with your girlfriend. You are both emotionally involved, its not just a physical experience with yourself and an unknown pornstar. Like you say you have rebooted and have been off PMO for quite awhile. I can see it being a potential trigger though. If you feel you are strong enough to not let it suck you back into PMO then i'd say go ahead. If you have doubts then maybe don't do it. Bottom line it is your journey, you made the rules for yourself. If you feel comfortable and okay with it then go ahead, if you feel like you shouldn't then maybe that's a sign.
As the earlier said. Just the fact that you're bringing it up here is a warning that you're about to make the wrong turn. Yea, you may be recovered. But having phone sex with your girlfriend when you masturbate alone and seeing her on a screen still stimulates the same old pathways that PMO does. It may be your girlfriend, you may know her. But that doesn't change that you're still masturbating alone to artificial stimulation. Because she isn't there with you. You're getting please the exact same way as you would through porn. Not saying that it is a problem yet but there certainly is a potential for your old PMO addiction to awaken again. Phone sex, sexting etc is all dangerous. Sure, if you feel like you can handle it without fapping alone then do it. But I would recommend you to stay away from it because it could very well lead back to cravings to fapping and the ultimately full blown PMO addiction. Bottom line is. Dont do it. Wait until you meet her and surprise her with you extreme desire and cravings for HER. Cheers!
Since the agenda of this website is to get people away from porn, it's your call. Personally, I don't think that this is a violation of the rules, as this person isn't some anonymous image. I do see how it can segue back into using porn, but it's ultimately on you as to whether or not this violates your personal goals. Honestly, I think that doing this sort of thing responsibly can help, but an old saying comes to mind: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." The reason why she may be sending half nudes and initiating sexting sessions is because she misses you, and she may be curious if you feel the same. Tell her that you do miss her and make plans to take her out and spend time with her when you get back. Anticipation is the most potent aphrodisiac.
